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Reply #1 -
05/10/08
5:37pm
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well if theres something wrong than i have it too, im here if you need to talk 
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Reply #2 -
05/10/08
5:42pm
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part of my problem is that i genuinely don't like being around people for real. but it just goes beyond that bcuz i can make myself be around people and like the situation i am in and not necesarily being around people yet i still just can't come up with anything. its just so weird to me i am good or at least average in most other areas in my life but i just can't talk well
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Reply #3 -
05/10/08
5:42pm
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You took a big step in getting out there and meeting people. Take things one step at a time.
Small talk can be learned. It comes w/practice. The more you work at it, the better you'll get at it.
It sounds like you're shy...shy people can still do fine in social situations.
Give yourself credit for getting out there!
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Reply #4 -
05/10/08
5:43pm
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Oh I was that way for the longest time. I'd respond to questions, just enough to give an appropriate answer, and that was it. But to actually START a conversation? On my own? Without any prompting?? Impossible. Even now, when I for example start a thread here, I always hesitate thinking "who's gonna want to read MY thread? Who am I?" But I do it anyway.
It takes time. How long were you like this, and what happened to make you this way? You've been like this for a long time, probably, and you won't get over it overnight. Don't let 1 or 2 situations make you think you'll never get better. Take baby steps. As I recall, you nearly went to a party the other night...even got to the place, but backed out and went home? So what....you made the effort. That's what counts. This time you actually met up with people, and at least tried to take part. That's another step. Go easy on yourself. It's a process.
HUGS!!
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Reply #5 -
05/10/08
5:49pm
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i have been this way all my life. the thing is i perceived being like this as a positive for most of my childhood. being quiet was something i liked about myself and it didn't really hurt me at all. now its reversed and i hate this about myself. its nothing but negative and its really the reason i'm depressed now. back then it was i just didnt want to talk to people. now its i want to talk but i nothing comes in my mind to say
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Reply #6 -
05/10/08
5:52pm
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deekay do you think that it could be somethign missing in our brains that makes us this way or could it be lack of experience cuz i once that it was the experience but now i'm not as sure
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Reply #7 -
05/10/08
6:55pm
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I'm not really sure why we're like this hon. I only know that we can learn to overcome it, if we have the desire to. I think you do, just as I finally got the desire. I used to think, like you, that it was better for me to be invisible, yet I when I wanted attention you better give it to me dammit!! I was a double edged sword and it made no sense. Now I don't mind having people's attention, but I don't feel the need to do outrageous or self-harming things to get it. I also don't mind NOT having it, but I'm not afraid of it either. Geeze I hope this is making sense....I guess what I'm trying to say is that it doesn't matter so much how we got here, it's how we deal with it. It's not an insurmountable problem, it just takes time...and yes, courage. It's scary to put yourself out there, I know.
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Reply #8 -
05/10/08
6:58pm
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oh and just to clear it up....it's not unimportant that you know the reasons why, because that may help you to find a way out of it. But while you're trying to find out (maybe a doctor or therapist) just keep putting one foot in front of the other and live your life. You don't deserve to let this illness rob you of that.
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Reply #9 -
05/10/08
7:05pm
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Well i agree being shy is a pain in the behind... i have never had hundreds of friends myself heck i'm doing good with 2 or 3 though since i moved i havent found anyone yet i would call a true friend ... just aquaintances... BUT somethings ive always thought about my shyness is its not a terrible thing. all you gotta do is find ONE friend. and when you do its alot easier to find another... for me at least... so work on one... make it a goal to find one aquaintance then if you get along well with them work on them being a friend... nothing wrong with taking life slow in my opinion
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Reply #10 -
05/11/08
3:55pm
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how is it that i find one friend? i have so many issues and i just flat out don't trust anyone. people don't like me cuz they don't know me but i don't even know me. i'm going to be like this forever. i had so many expectations for myself but maybe its just time to be realistic and settle for what i'm capabale of.
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