Clinical depression is a state of sadness or melancholia that has advanced to the point of being disruptive to an individual's social functioning and/or activit...
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I feel i have failed my kids!!!!!!
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since spliting with my partner of 11yrs due to physical child abuse I have lost my partner and hate him for what he has done.I am having so much trouble trying to keep my 5 kids under control and get them counselling and then to have 1 to say that he would rather be somewhere else has really killed me.I cry in front of them and just fall apart and the kids start crying and then i feel even worse and i don't know what to do as i am becoming a mess almost every day now.I haven't sort councelling yet as my kids come first.I don't want to scare my children and end up in the mental hospital again...The kids were told that i was in hospital cause i had food poisioning but i told them the truth the other day so they would relize wot i had to do to get them safe and me sorted out.everytime i go to court for the DVO hearing and I see him i have a panic attack and am a mess for about 3hrs afterwards.it is so hard and i mean so hard to face each day alone and scared that i am going to do the wrong thing with them.I feel so horrible everytime i look at them.
Posted on 02/19/08, 06:02 am |
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Sounds like youre going through hell :( Time does heal though and although it may not seem like it right now...things will get better :) I understand how easy it is to break down in front of your kids but remember...youre doing this for them so try and keep it together :) 
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do you have help or any kind of support from family or friends,
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it is so hard to be a parent.. noone is given a manual that says 'this is what the right thing is'..
you are a strong person.. you may not feel that day to day.. but the decisions that you made to help your kids show that.. i just remember how hard being young was for me.. and had a discussion with my best friend about it.. its a time of confusion and worry and we dont know who we are yet.. and we dont have the perceptions that our parents have.. you are doing so much for them.. and in time they all will realize that.. and in time you will feel that strength and feel better.. hold on.. you are not alone.. **hugs**
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Sorting yourself out is putting your kids first. It's in their best interest.
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I break in front of my kids all the time, they have to learn at some point that mum is not a word for superhero we are after all only human and things get tough on us especially as we are doing it on our own. As long as you keep the communication open with them and let them know that although you are trying to deal with things at the moment and you are not very strong you will be and that you are still 1000% there for them if they need you. They need to know that it is ok to cry and break down a little, but do get yourself some help.
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You are a mom, not a robot. It is okay to cry and get upset, your going through a very hard time. We all want to protect our children, but it's okay for them to see your human and have feelings. You were strong enough to keep them safe. That is what they will always remember. Good luck hon and take care of you, along with your kids. How old are your children?
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Hun, you are doing the best that you can right now. You are not a failure!!! Being a mom is hard but with 5 of them and doing it on your own...well I know I wouldn't be all "Mary Poppins and Martha Stewart". Don't be so hard on yourself. You do need to get yourself in therapy though...I haven't read your profile so I don't know if you are on an antidepressant but I know that I wouldn't be able to function without my Lexapro.
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I was in the same situation... 4 children ages 4-8... very very hard... they are all grown now and the thing the oldest remembers the most is the abulance coming cause mom wouldn't wake up... I feel so bad for this but the best thing I did was to get counciling.. the right counciling (that is the hardest part.. the right person). My kids know of my illness and are most happy to know I'm trying to help myself and make changes. It's truely the best thing you can do for your kids!! Once you can do this and they see it... it sets a great example for them... we all know that depression can be inherited!
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