Clinical depression is a state of sadness or melancholia that has advanced to the point of being disruptive to an individual's social functioning and/or activities of daily living....
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Hate
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I HATE that I feel this way!
I HATE that I think like this! I HATE that I can't get past this shit! I HATE who I am! I HATE who I have become! I HATE being FUCKING MISERABLE ALL THE TIME! I have not taken laxatives in 5 days. I have eaten like I should and then some. I feel worse now then I did when I was fully engaged in behaviors. I have been dealing with a lot of physical pain in my joints(its in my journal) and I don't understand it. I don't know anything other then I am sitting here with 100 laxatives and about half that many diuretics and I want to down them all. Sure I would probably just puke after shitting myself silly, but I don't care. I deserve to be miserable and suffer. I am sorry to be feeling this way.... I HATE that I cause people here to worry... I hate that I even bothered posting this... Posted on 11/25/07, 03:11 pm |
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If it helps, I hate that your feeling so bad. And Id rather worry about you than have you suffer alone. Dont take them all, cos its really not worth it. You wanna let out some stress or vent? 
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don't be sorry it's part of feeling shitty unfortunately. Rant rave...go for it.
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Yell, rant, whatever you need to. But you don't "deserve" to feel this way, to be in pain. (((HUG)))
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hate days r ok.
5 days..fucking awesome. be proud. throw the damn things away. u feel sick because your system is trying to recover, ok? but BITCH all u want...i do. lol :) xoxoxoxoxoxo
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DONT U DARE ! ! !
i LOVE who u are. i LOVE that ur my friend. i LOVE that ur my sister. i LOVE having u around. and i LOVE u very muchly. you do NOT deserve to be miserable or to suffer. i know me saying that doesnt make much difference but its TRUE. ur amazing laynie - amazing amazing amazing. uve been thru so much and ur still here, ur still alive. thats SO important. as for causing us worry - dont apologise. i would be more worried if u didnt talk abowt how u feel. PLEASE dont take all the laxatives and diuretics ! please ! think of ur health, ur girls, guill, me. dont do this. i love u laynie - and im so so so sorry that im not there 2 help u through this. but u CAN get through this, i promise. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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i am sorry you feel so bad , but things will get better soon
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I love that I know you
I love that you are talking instead of taking I love that you've done so well so far! You don't deserve to be miserable and shitty, you deserve to be happy and have the support you need to get better. Some of that will come from here, some from docs, and some simply from you wanting to. You are stronger than your illness hun, you've shown that. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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GUILL U BLOODY COPYCAT ! lol xxx
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Never read your reply TC. Great minds and all that.....
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bump - talk 2 us laynie xxxxxx
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