What is Depression Teen
Adolescent depression is a disorder occurring during the teenage years marked by persistent sadness, discouragement, loss of self-worth, and loss of interest in usual activities. ...
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I could have died today
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No matter how hard I try I always seem to fail at life one way or another. It got to the point where I even questioned myself today, why do I bother trying? I thought of killing myself today. I live right next to an over pass, I can just jump that bridge any day. It's like the bridge is calling me enticing me to do it. I am so hurt beyond words and I feel like anything I say is just going to be a repeat of anything I've cried about and almost massacred myself about for a whole entire year of starting my life over. Who am I kidding? No matter what I do for the time that I am in my house and the place I live in nothing is going to change. It's going to be the same shit on a different day. Maybe even till the day I die cause it seems like no matter what I do for myself or for anybody in my life I'm not getting anywhere. NOTHING I do will ever compare to that one time and place in my life that I was happy. Thats going to haunt me forever until the day I die. I feel like I am nothing to this world. All I've asked for were simple little things... new friends to hang out with and things to do to keep me out of the house everyday, pass school, get my job and car, and, most importantly be in a new relationship thats the best I've ever had in one year and 7 fucking wasted months. I get it. I suck at life. I'm fat and clumsy and stupid. NOTHING I do will please anybody. It's just going to eventually subside until it decides to bite me in the ass and hurt me and make me cry and break down again. I don't even get why I didn't kill myself today. Sure, life doesn't come wrapped up in a pretty bow, but I'm not fucked up to get the shit I got these past 2 years for one life time. I'm either going to be made or broken from this. Until then, I'm going to be in my room as usual numb and lifeless and have nothing.
Posted on 05/16/08, 06:05 pm |
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oh boohoo, everything is about you. open your eyes and look at all the people around you for once and stop worrying about what you can't control! take small steps towards a better you and stop trying to find an overnight cure! name three good reasons your life sucks and we'll go from there. believe it or not, i'm here and trying to help you. 
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i think you should just chill and try to take it one day at a time. i know it's not the solution that you want, but it's the only one that i can pose. just try to make things a little bit better everyday and say things in your head, or even out loud like, "this week was so much better than last week!" but only if it truly was better. you have to be honest with yourself. maybe you should also just chill and try to find the route of this problem. maybe there's something deeper than what you're just seeing. try to see it from all perspectives. also, if you try to find a positive outlet, things will be expressed through that outlet, and not weighing on your mind so much.
and i'm here to talk if you need, just sent me a msg.
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