Depression Supporters Support Group

I'm living what you're going through. The one thing you don't want to do is threaten to leave if she cuts. Assuming that you're not part of what factors into her depression, it would only make it worse for her.

As for me and my wife, I dropped virtually everything to at least be there if she wanted to talk. Sure, I'd ask how she was feeling or if she needed to, but I made sure I stayed close just in case. I also held her, told her I love her, and asked how I could help. That didn't stop her from cutting if I was away or working a touch late, but I still made it a point to be close by.

One of the things I did was suggest going to see a counselor. It's worked pretty well and my wife's overall mood is improving.

There is one big pitfall...your wife's depression could "rub off" on you as well during the next few weeks/months. It happened to me, but I noticed it before I got too deep.

For now, the three best things to do are:
1) Be with your wife...hold her, cuddle, etc., but also mind her boundaries. She might not want to cuddle or be held sometimes.

2) Keep asking how you can help her. Even if she says there's nothing you can do or she just doesn't know, you're still letting her know that you're concerned and willing to help.

3) Try to get her to see a counselor, or at least the family physician so she can get anti-depressants and other medications (assuming she isn't on any already). Keep asking about a counselor, but don't push it. My wife didn't like the idea of a counselor until our family physician made the appointment for her...maybe it'd be the same for your wife.

If you need to talk, my inbox is always open. =)

my wife decided shes not coming back she wants to stay in lousian and for me to stay in alabama she doesnt want a divorce because of our religion but wants to stay seperated for good do you believe she may change her mind in the future

great advice
glad i am not alone