Dementia Support Group

Hi:
I'm hoping to get some thoughts from others with more experience here, especially if anyone has any idea as to exactly what problem, technically speaking, he might have - if indeed a specific name can even be put on it.
My father, for many years, had short term memory issues. But, over the last 2-3 years, things seem to be getting alot worse. Unlike the normal memory issues associated with aging, my father becomes very disoriented. For example, when he is at my house, he will have no idea where he is, doesn't know where the bathroom is (even though obviously he's visited us often over the past 25 years), would have no idea which way to go when leaving my driveway to go home (my mom drives), and he will often become very agitated over where his car keys are, or wondering if he forgot something at home, or if they have suitcases that he has to take along when leaving, etc.
We are also at the point where he is not remembering things about family members, such as what I do for a living, where I live, etc.
Most recently he did not know who my brother was at a family funeral, and, alarmingly, the other night he got in the car at 1:00 in the morning, turned the engine on, and wanted to leave the house to go look for his wife and child. He knew the name of his 'wife' but did not associate it with my mom, who was standing in front of the car preventing him from leaving. I take from this that he is getting to the point where he no longer knows who my mom is.
My daughter (who is at home with us) was visiting them overnight some time ago, and he asked her where she lives now, etc. When my daughter told him the name of the town, he recognized it and said he has a son who lives there....but never made the connection that she is his granddaughter. Also, it seems like the line between fantasy and reality is becoming increasingly blurred since any sort of wild imagining or dream that he has is interpreted as being real. It seems like, when he becomes agitated, the only thing you can do is try to defuse it by getting his mind on to something other than what he is obsessing over and fixated on.
This is all so scary to me. None of us has any experience with anything like this in our family. I just feel that we should get, if possible, some definitive diagnosis as to what exactly is going on. I'm told that one doctor, based on a few tests, indicatd that it is not Alzheimers.
I feel very bad for my mom and just don't know how she is coping with it all. She doesn't say much about it. My parents are both in their mid-80's, were always active and loved to travel together. I know my mom is just so upset (although she doesn't voice it much) that their independent travel days are
seemingly over. I can't imagine how upsetting is was the other night when he threatened to leave in search of his 'wife and child'. I cannot imagine where he would have wound up had he managed to get the car out of the driveway.
Sorry to wax at length on this but I wanted to paint a pretty clear picture of what is going on. It is so distressing to the family, but we just don't know quite what to do. Any thoughts would be welcomed. I know my dad, at least awhile back, had taken some medication intented to slow down the process. At this point, though, I don't think he is taking anything. I suspect things will only get worse, and so we need to be prepared for it if possible. We are a small family - only my brother and I - who both work full-time, and my aunt, who maintains very close contact with my parents and frequently visits. Thanks so much for reading this (if you made it this far!). That's basically my story....

Regards,
three4rd
Posted on 09/27/07, 03:09 pm