Dementia is the progressive decline in cognitive function due to damage or disease in the brain beyond what might be expected from normal aging. Particularly affected areas may be ...
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Has Anyone Ever dealt with an Attorney?
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I am panicking and burning out. After living with my dad for several years . First I was sick and my mom and dad let me come live with them . I worked hard to get well. My mom died almost 2 years ago . I am 58 and dad was diagnosed with Dementia about a year ago. I decided to stay although I have 2 married sisters and maybe make the time we spent together meaningful. The rages started, the car accidents, the memory and blame and my sisters have excuses for everything. My one sister lives here in Florida she thinks she is too sick (with God knows what) to show up here much . My other sister lives out of stateand she controls everything.There is no talking to either one of them . They get abusive with me . They are either in big time denial or do not want to change their lives. I put my fathers life ahead of mine until a few months ago and i saw how sick I got and no one cared. I never did anything good enough or things were my fault. I have a therapist and she finally got thru to me I will never get approval from my sisters and i have to take care of me. I had told them both I was planning on moving out toward the end of the year. When i told my father he started telling everyone lies about me. My sister called me up from out of state and attacked me and accused me of abusing my father. Quite the opposite is true. I sleep with my door locked I am so afraid. Since my sister has been signed over everything including my car which was my mothers. I pay the insurance. My fathers Dementia is the family secret and it is getting worse every day. I am so afraid my sister will take my car to keep me here. I am abused everyday (emotionally)The other day my dad was so enraged i was afraid he would hit me. I work P/T and go to school and am hanging on by my fingernails. I don`t want to end up back in the hospital,as I have in the past or with more shock treatments. I was pretty stable and if I lose it my family wins. My sister who lives out of state is very rich and powerful married to a huge executive. They both told me the other nite to have a nice life. I am ready to give up and get out and save myself while I can but I am afraid of my powerful sister who obviously has issues with me.Has anyone ever had to go to an attorney . I am in and out of so many doctor offices with health issues,my head is spinniing. I am looking for a safe affordable place for me and my dog.I never know if I am going to make it thru the day and I dread going home. I am scared for my dog who I love although I know my dad loves him . I think I need an attorney.Since I had problems with depression during my life and I am on disability I am afraid this will be used against me. My doctors all know what`s going on and feel I need to get out.I am so scared...Kontiki
Posted on 09/28/08, 09:09 pm |
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Most attorney's offices will provide a free first visit to assess needs. Honey, if things are this bad, you really need to take care of you first right now. Can you talk to one of your doctors and have them recommend tha a home assessment is done to check on your Dad's competency and medical needs?
Most counties have organizations that watch over the rights of the elderly and make sure they are recieving what they need. Maybe this could help explain the reality to your sisters and force some help. It's so important for you to feel safe and healthy. This does not sound like a healthy environment even for the strongest of souls. Have you tried talking to the Alheimer's hotline? They help provide direction and ideas/resources. www.alz.org Hopefuly some others will have some ideas for you, but I really thing you need some respite and help in figuring this out. Hang in there, Cathy 
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Take a look at Kim's post "Information that might help somebody", she has some very good resources listed in this in the Florida area also that might help.
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I agree with Pounder that usually you can get a free consultation with a lawyer, but always double check that. Listen very carefully when you meet with him/her and take good notes. It is too easy to forget things after the fact. Take care, and good luck with everything.
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This sounds familiar. I don't know what your doctors had advised you, in this situation. The path towards healing and managing our own disabilities has it's process which can be difficult in also trying to care for another with his disabilities.
Since your father was diagnosed with Dementia, and you are his immediate caretaker. You can request for a caseworker for your father, through his doctor. There should be a letter from his primary doctor stating his diagnoses, and declaring who is the primary caregiver. When you are ready to go on your own, the caseworker will help in regards to your father. Should you decide to stay as caretaker, the caseworker may also help to suggest other agencies for legal and support assistance. You did well, and Dad's thinking & behavior will be off. Either way, it will be your strength to know what's best for you. Your not good to anyone (if your ill), not even to yourself. Been there...., Good Luck!
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I think you have done your duty. What you have now is called golden handcuffs. You are staying in a bad situation because you are afraid to lose your car, your dog, your place to stay. It does not sound like anything else is going to come to you.
Good advice about the caseworker. And get out of there! You can find a place to go if you are working. Make sure you have medical support.
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You really need to take care of yourself - health and safety. I posted some info I will bump it up so you can find it on the discussion post. There is so much out there. When Mom went thru the very bad episode from being on pain meds I made a call to the 211 elder hotline and then to her doctor. That REALLY got the ball rolling. I have had Alzheimer's Community Care, State of Florida Department of Elder Affairs, Social Worker, and so many more come out - assess the situations and provide additional resources and referrals. You may want to start out with a social worker to help guide you. We have had so many assessments, etc. and are now on wait lists for help and working toward getting Mom (and me) the help we need. It's a long process so please try not to get discouraged. I hope this gives you a little hope.
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