Dementia is the progressive decline in cognitive function due to damage or disease in the brain beyond what might be expected from normal aging. Particularly affected areas may be ...
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Nursing Home Fears and Anger
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My Father suffers from dementia and was always a private but demanding person. He refused to accept a diagnosis of dementia and for years refused to take any medication at all. Doctors could not force him as he still had an amazing way of passing all their tests and talking sanely during visits and then would go home and the paranoia, anger, repetitive talking, thinking people stole things and needed constant attention. I'm single and 47 and have to work full time. I've been caring for him and kept him in his home while this has progressed for almost 10 years. He had a really bad spell and thought he was having a heart attack and was admitted to the hospital. They discussed his dementia with me and said he needed more care and started him on anti-depressents (father has taken them if I'm there and keep explaining is for mini-strokes and will help him keep his heart calm). I had to take him to a nursing home as he really can not care for himself any longer and I can't possibly be there 24/7 and afford to live. The nurses are very nice, but the noise and strange surroundings are bothering him and triggering episode after episode of issues. Yesterday he thought someone stole his pillows and I had to show him 10 times where I wrote his name on these, but he still doesn't believe me. Today they had him eat in the diner area (bad idea) and he had words with another resident. He now thinks they don't know what they're doing, that he's in harms way and wants to get out of there immediately. I had to drive an hour out there this morning to settle him down, but he still is upset. I know he's sick and I wish so badly he could find some peace. He is a very intelligent man and does not want to live this way and my heart breaks constantly thinking about what we face.
I think he's somewhere in stage 6, but his body physically is so healthy that I don't think it will give out any time soon. I can't bear the thought of what lies ahead as I'm so exhausted already. I don't sleep well at all, my head is spinning constantly and I'm worried about the toll this is all taking on the rest of my family. I'm his main care giver, but they come from so far away as much as possible to help, but their health is not very good either. Does anyone know when it's time to try anti-phycotics if needed and what this will do? He just has such strong paranoia and is so fearful and overwhelming and he looks so exhasted of fighting all this. How can I help him find some peace? Thank you all, I'm so glad I found this site and others that feel just like I do. I wish you all peace and better days ahead. Posted on 06/08/08, 01:06 pm |
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Talk to the staff at the nursing home and ask them to give him something to calm him down. My mother was given risperidone twice a day at .25mg. This calms her down quite a bit, but it has a cumulative effect and can make the patient tire. Talk to the medical staff. They should be able to help you. Take care of yourself and best of luck. 
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From the sounds of it he is overdue for anti-phycotics. Especially if he tries to escape the NH he may need time in the hospital while they adjust his medications as well.
I haven't experienced any of this myself. I'm just repeating what I know others have done in your circumstances. And while you are at it, if you are still not sleeping now that he is in the NH, you need to see a doctor as well to get yourself calmed down.
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There are several anitpsychoics which can help. Resperidone is one, seraquel is another. He sounds like he really needs something. My husbands life would be a living hell if it wasn't for the antipsychotic he is taking. Your Dad should be tried on something.
Just a warning to everyone: make sure the Drs at the nursing home know what they are doing, meet with them and discuss his care. Tell them you want to be notified of any changes to care. Honestly nursing home patients are a cash cow for doctors and MANY of them don't do much for their money. The more patients they see the more money they make so they spend as short as time as possible with each pt. Make sure he is a Do Not resusicate,called a DNR. Don't feel quilty for putting him there, you did the best you could for as long as you could. His needs are safety. Your Dad would never have wanted you to give up so much of your life. Take Care of your self!
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Thank you so much for your input and support. I met with the geriatric phychiatrist, the head nurse at the home (31 yrs of experience) and his regular doctor. They all agree that he needs additional medication and that without it his mind will stay so scared and twisted up that it will be agonizing. He tells me so often that he feels like he's in jail in his own body. He's so against any medications that this will be tough, but I'm going to have to find a way and work with him to get this going. He suffers from Parkinson's also and there are several drugs that will make this worse, so they have recommended that we try Exelon or Namenda. Has any one had success with either of these that you know? Maybe I should start a post just on this topic. Thank you again so much. I feel like I finally have a place to go for emotional support for me and for my Dad. You are all angels.
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Namenda is not an anti-psychotic. It is a dementia medication. If he isn't on any of the dementia medications, it makes sense to try him on at least one of them before they try anything else.
My husband is on it and when he first got up to full dose, there was a change for the better in his thinking and also in his not being disoriented so much. I believe Exelon is in the other set of dementia medications, but have no personal experience with it. It is normal for a dementia patient to be on two meds, one of each type.
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My mother had Exelon for about several years. It is a drug for mild dementia. Now she's off it because it's not doing anything for her as it did at the beginning. Her dementia has progressed to moderate and severe.
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Your Dad doesnt need to be so stressed. Staff cant just give that sort of medicine it ahs to come through the doctor. what would you rather feel if you were your Dad? Weary or Stressed and Agro? I'd pick weary.
My Mum has good and bad spells...she is on an aniti psychotic, but I think they need to up the dose. her problem is she really isnt a nuisance to anyone but she is quietly stressing about everything. She doesnt think her bedclothes have been stolen she thinks they arent hers and they have to be returned to their rightful owner!!!!!! and she doesnt know who she belongs to. spek to your Dad's doctor direct...ring him with your worries and ask hime to visit Dad. Sounds like physically your Dad has a while to go, better if he has a peaceful mind. Hugs and Prayers
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I Thank You for putting your story out there.
My mother is entering a nursing home soon as they find a bed, we are hoping that they don't stick her with my grand mother who also suffers from the same thing. Mom is in the early stages,compared to gram but both can't be alone, we tried the sibling help and nursing assistance but they could only give daylight and she was a night person who slept during the day. My dad is beyond trying, he said she has been like this quite a while and we just never noticed, she hid it well. She has fallen twice and they don't know why either. I can go on and on. Thanks Again. AnnieEm
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AnnieEm: I feel for you at this stage. The transition and settling my Father in has been almost more work than having him at home. But...there have been a few bright moments as his medication is starting to help and they have turned my Dad's walking at night and sleeping in the day around and he's sleeping now and safe at night. I was able to request a single room and had to pay out of pocket a bit each month, but with his paranoia I could never have gotten him to share a room. He's eating better and likes talking to the nurses. I know I still would like him home with our family, but also know that he needed more care than I could provide and he's safe. Check on your Mom often at first, it helped me a lot and helped him get to know the staff and routine. I made a lot of lists of his "triggers", food likes/dislikes, activities, clothing all sorts of things to help and the nurses loved having this insight. I wish you luck and thank you all for your input. I have a long road ahead, but I'm trying very hard to find the little moments to smile about and focus on them now and just keep forging forward on the bad ones.
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Hi Pounder, I don't know much about specific meds but my mom had to put my grandfather in a nursing home as his dementia progressed. It got to the point where my family couldn't provide the round-the-clock care he needed, and a PCA for such care was unaffordable. It was difficult to leave him there because he didn't want to be there, he wanted to live at home and he wanted to go home every time we visited. But, at the same time, we knew it was best for him...Good luck with everything, I know how frustrating and difficult it all can be!
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