Dementia Support Group

Is she likely to remember?

If not, the time is past to explain what is wrong with her. Just use redirection or the white lie method. Is it realistic or kind to have her go through the sadness and mourning stage each time you explain it?

Bt the time we found out it doesn't really matter to her and to tell her well she can't rem4mber going to the bathroom let alone about her Deminita. I am as well her full time care giver and the last of her living children. I take care of her 24/7. I will say at the Dr's we don't shy away about talking about her deminita and we do mention it to her but it isn't somethng that stays with her Good Luck nd God Bless I know where you are coming from

My husband has AD dementia. He uses Exelong, a transdermal patch. I put it on his back every day and every day he asks why he needs to use it. And, every day I explain it is to help his memory loss. He does not appear to go through any grief or mourning when he hears this. I hopt it's ok to tell him this, but we've been married for over 58 yers and we've never kept anything from each other. This is such a sad thing. He's in very good health but tells me all the time how tired he is. He falls asleep and takes 3 and 4 long (1-2 hour) naps and sleeps 7-8 hours at night. I think I should feel sorry for him but he doesn't seem to be suffering. In fact, he's in very good spirits most of the time. However, he does get more aggitated now than he did, say a month ago. I guess that's the progress of the disease. So sad.

Lita, I think you have chosen the perfect words for your situation.

They do sleep a lot it seems with this disease. I like your honesty.When mom asks whats wrong with her, I tell her sometimes, and she looks sad for a minute then understands, and moves on to the next subject.I think it frightens them when they are somewhat lucid and know that they are not right. Comfort and honesty (gentle honesty) seems to help. This is a very horrible disease...one that has so many phases..they turn into many different people along the way, which I find the hardest.I try not to perpetuate the white lies too much...it only seems to contrbute to a deeper journey into OZ !
Thanks for your comment. Write me anytime, and we are all here to support you. You are not alone.
Morganfairy

Both of my parents have dementia. My mother has had it for at least 5 years. I have never told her she has it because she has never asked and I thought it would be best not to tell her anyway. Her dementia is now becoming delusional and it is quite scary. She gets so many things confused in her mind and I try to go along with it, unless it's something I really need to correct. My dad has had dementia for at least 3 years, and while not as bad as my mom yet, I also believe he has Parkinson's Disease. Trying to get new doctors for assessments and care.

I struggle with that question, too. My dad knows something is wrong. But I think telling him would hurt him and he would forget. When he mentions that he can't remember I listen, but don't tell him why he can't remember.

I think every family is different with my grandma who suffers almost exactly from the same as your loved one, we have opted not to tell her. Not only will she probably not remenber, but when she was younger she had a fear of these diseases after watching her brother suffer. she gets agitated easily with the dementia as it is so this would just make things for granny worse. Good luck gina

I tell my Mom when she gets upset and asks me what is wtong with her, but she forgets in 5 minutes, she even forgets why she wears oxygen 24/7 and that Hospice provides the oxygen machine and tubing and why the Hopice nurse comes every week. She is in the denial stage in which she still thinks she cooks, cleans, etc. I too use the redirection method with her which usually works with her delusional thinking. God Bless each and every one of you.

I was trying to be disceet with Mom about the Dementia, but my sister believes in telling it like it is.

I went to the Alz.Soc.and didn't tell Mom.

My sister went too but she took Mom with her.

My mother cooperates with my sister better than she does with me so Mom is willing to go for the assessment set for Oct.1st.

From what I can understand it doesn't hurt for them to know.

Because they do know something is wrong. I asked Mom a question yesterday and rather not letmeknow she didn't know how to answer she just made something up.

They try to hide it God love them. She is fighting this so much.