OK I am back after 3 months or so . and I didn`t take all the advice I was given . I am living with my father who was diagnosed 6 months ago. I see a therapist. I tried to do too much and allowed myself to be abused by my father and 2 sisters who don`t help except the rich one and she only helped him with his mortagage so he could keep living in my dead mother`s monastery.They don`t acknowledge his dementia and are believing his stories about My abusing him (what a joke).My wealthy sister is very powerful and she is threatening me with her husband a very prominent CEO. My father has even signed my car over to her even though it was my mother`s and I have started to pay insurance on it. I work and go to
school and I am getting very sick mentally and physically. The more I pull away and I am desperately looking for a safe place to livethe more they try to control me. My sister won`t hier anyone cause she says there is nothing wrong with him.She believes his storys of my abusing him. He calls her , lies and cries and I get attacked.I was threatened after he had 4 car accidents that if I did anything to endanger his license I would pay.Finally after sneaking calls with the Dr`s theDMV is investigating him. I feel like I am in danger especially mentally and now I am developing physical illnesses. I am afraid my 90 year old father is going to outlive me and I am 58. My sister will not hiar anyone because she does not believe it is necessary and she doesn`t want him to feel incompetent. No one cares about me. When I talked to my dad`s internist today he told me I have to get out. I was afraid he might hit me during his last rage and then he called my sisters
crying ...telling them I was abusing him.Is there any help out there for abused caretakers. The more I try to take care of myself the worse my family is toward me.If I was in better shape credit wise I would just get a place tommorow but my funds are limited and I have a dog.I have loved my father for the last year and 9 months and I made the mistake of giving up my life in exchange for him. I am scared, desperate and need shelter....Kontiki.. Thanks for
listening....PS My father helped me when I was in a financial crisis and I have made mistakes in this life as a daughter especially when I was younger but I did a lot of good things too. My family says I owe my father.
Posted on 09/26/08, 02:09 am
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I wish I had some answers for you. The best thing I can say is you need to get out from under you sisters controlling ways and do move out. I know that is easy for me to say, and hard for you to do. As long as you let your sister pull the strings and you do not take control of your own life I am not sure what can be done. Some of the things you said I do understand, we all have done things on our lives that we have regrets for doing even your sister. It seems to me she is not interested in your fathers well being more about how it looks to her friends. A lot of people do not accept dementia/alzheimers because they look at it as a weakness in the person. It is a brain diseace. The brain is an organ. I guess the only thing I can think of right now is find it you have a freind that you could move in with. You need to get out of the care taking of your father, you are not able to do this on your own and it will ruin your health both physically and emtionally. It just depends on when you are sick of it enough to take control of your own life without worrying about what happened years ago, you can only live today not in guilt from your past God Bless you and hope you get it worked out Phil & Flops 
