Conduct Disorder Support Group

I am a (full time) step mother of a 9 year old boy that I have raised since he was 1.5 and up till then my now husband raised his son on his own because his mother (in my opinion) has undiagnosed conduct disorder as well and has never bonded or acted like she has ever cared or wanted her son. Anyways... it has come to the point where my step son is uncontrollable, I am stressed beyond belief, he is the one and only reason I have considered getting a divorce or separation and leaving with our 3 year old who is continually having to take a back seat because my step son is DEMANDING attention and has hurt my son our of anger many times. I do not even feel safe with my step son around. The alternative is him going to live with his mother who refuses to believe he has a problem and if she will admit to something she will say we must have messed him up somehow (because my step son is a compulsive liar to get attention and she feeds off it which encourages it). She sees him "regularly" maybe a weekend every other 3 months because she is always "busy". My son decided he didn't like rules at our home so he has now made it a habit to try to run away to his mother's (where there are NOOOOO rules at all to the point it is almost dangerous). I am so tired of fighting with him and he only gets worse and he is destroying my family and my own sanity. We don't know what to do and I will not sacrifice my biological son's happiness and safety for my step son who is out of control no matter what I do.
Is it horrible to say I want to give up and send him to his mother's to live there permanantly (visits here of course) where I know he won't be as well taken care of here? I feel like I am on the verge of a mental breakdown but I feel so guilty thinking of him going there where things are not good and proper at all. Help... what do I do?
Posted on 05/01/08, 04:05 pm