What is Coming Out
"Coming out of the closet" describes the voluntary public announcement of one's (often homosexual or bisexual) sexual orientation, sexual attractions or gender identity. Being "out...
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First, I'll apologize for reposting this here, as I've already posted this in the GSA group, but I'm really desperate to know this side of myself.
Here goes: Since I was very young, (12'ish) I have been attracted to women. At 12 a good female friend kinda 'went through the motions' not sure how else to explain that one, but didn't totally have relations. Since then, I have been married 2x, and my 2 children are with my ex (very long and sad story), leaving me in a position (just turned 40) where I REALLY need to find out who I am. I do not get turned on looking at mens 'parts' literally any parts - I always feel strange when a friend will say ooooh look at his bod, ass, or whatever. Most recently, I had a blog somewhere, a very successful one - and was going through a lot of tragic things. I had a woman friend named Anna, God, she is so beautiful inside and out... who helped me through so much of it, including calling into work to be with me online (she lives on Isle of Man, pfft, where's the isle of women???). Well, we ended up both surprised at how our feelings developed into serious love, and eventually 'really' talking about our femininity (won't go further there but let your imagination go very wild there). Things ended - I'm still not sure why - but I think of her more than once each day. But alas, I'll never be with her, as we'd both promised each other. So, my point is, I've never REALLY been with a woman, but I strongly suspect I'm a lesbian - as sex with ex's was never what I'd heard other straight women said they felt about it. I never feel the urge to check ANY men out, but am often having to force my face away from a beautiful women. When I think of "things" during self-satisfaction >.< sorry but I have to include for clarity sake, only fantasize about women. Any advice, information, help, encouragement, understanding, would be greatly appreciated. By the way - I'm just too scared I guess, with all of my other issues, to actually go out and TRY it. Hell, I have a hard enough time leaving my home. Posted on 04/13/08, 10:04 am |
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right i knew when i had a guy who i suspected i liked and i felt nothing when he was near me. just be yourself and see where that takes you.
good luck 
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I knew at such a young age i was bi. i seemed to have more crushes on women than guys, and as i grew up it seemed that for every guy i liked, i liked 3 more girls.
when i went into high school it was so clear it hit me so hard! i was a little freaked out at first, but now it's such an important part of who i am. as for you, hon, it sounds like, even though you're hesitant to go out and have an experience, it might be a very good thing to do. you need to explore yourself, and have fun doing it:)
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Thanks to both of you. I have an online friend who is local who is interested in me, so I will meet her in the near future. :) :)
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Good luck with that! that's great!
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Wow. I just joined this group & can't believe how your "story" hits home with me. I don't have any advice for you, but I wish you the best. I'm about to marry a man & just realized that I am gay...I mean it's been there my whole life, but there was some totally unconscious denial or something going on. I feel very confused myself right now, but we'll make it through.
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Thank you all again for the support and understanding.
And a hug for all. :)
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What I understand from my life experience is that if you supress your feelings, then someday they will find you along the way...It's nothing wrong to feel something so beautiful for another person. So explore your feelings, and don't be afraid. I understand you completely because Iam too afraid and intimidated my self...
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good luck with meeting our friend
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you know by the love that you see and then you follow it.
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