Coming Out Support Group

I realised I was gay when my uncle abused me.
Do not label yourself, that is one of the worst things you can do. You don't seem all that comfortable with the idea of being gay am I right? Well you just kind of need to let your emotions sort themselves out. Just don't rush them it makes it worse and harder.
That probably didn't help but if you want more advice etc message me :)
x

hi there:)...all your concerns are deeply understandable..I remember, when me and my best friend first kissed, I ran to the toilet and puked...I was really sick that time, had a serious flu so I am still not sure what was the reason for vomiting;)...anyway, we were a couple for the next 4 years since than...we loved each other dearly what I think was extremely helpful in stretching my sexual boundaries and learning how to 'do it right'... at the beginnig it seemed rather weird (I mean the action, and touching your friend in this special way;) but the desire to be as close as it was possible to her was strong enough to overcome these uncomfortable feelings...P.S. I was terrified during my first time but I guess there is no different in your heterosexual first time...feeling and trust between two of you will be defenietely helpful in it:)

It is such a huge big deal the first experience of being with someone of the same sex because of all the conditioning we are given as kids...
for years i had huge crushes on/off with various female friends but was terrified of acting on it incase i was rejected and also lost my friendship with them which was too important for me to jeopordise. When I did actually have my first sexual experience with another friend whom i became really close to, it was a surreal and very scary experience. i felt so out of my depth and was convinced i wouldnt know the right way to 'turn her on' and i was also still in a hetro relationship with a lovely guy who was a nice boyfriend, but just lacked a certain something. although he knew i was bi..it never bothered him because he trusted me! So there i was betraying him, causing emotional havoc with my friend and crying so much the next day ( as well as being violently sick coz I had drank too much !)

The situation you find yourself in now really reminded me of how awfully hard the initial process is of acting out something that had previously been a 'concept' I imagine there will be many women who have felt like you do now, and i think this is a natural stage you are going through.

I try not to get too hung up on labels because it is 'people' i fall for and not the genitals! ( that just comes with the package- and i have always ended up by the way adoring the genitals of any of my partners!)

Your journey is personal to you and all i can advise is to follow your gut instinct, ease yourself slowly into gay community through sites, books, film etc.. get some support buddies and be open and honest to trusted friends and family of any confusion you have...

I wish you all the very best and do keep in touch if you want any more chat/advice/support x

I read your comment and I read the replies, all were very well=spoken. I myself knew that I was bi-sexual since the late 80's, but I only had 2 relationships with other women. Neither of which turned out very well, not because of me but because both of them were screwed up. After the second relationship ended I just went back to dating men. Time after time I was emotionally disappointed with the men I dealt with. I always felt that there was something missing. So recently I made the decision that life is short, I am getting older and I want to find my happiness, so I am in the process of joining a gay community and several bi-sexual support groups that have social activities, so I can meet, get to know and possibly meet some-one I can connect with. About the actual sexual act: it's like anything else that's new, but the first and most important advice I can give is, when you really find some-one attractive (in whatever way that is), you will want to touch and be touched by them, and the rest will take it's course. Like one person that replied said, it was aukward when you had your first experiences with a man until you got used to it, plus the stigma of not being a heterosexual adds to holding you back. But for me, being an older woman, I don't care what anyone else thinks, it's about my happiness today, and I haven't been able to find it with men! Write back if you want to chat.