"Coming out of the closet" describes the voluntary public announcement of one's (often homosexual or bisexual) sexual orientation, sexual attractions or gender identity. Being "out...
|
What am I? Please help!
|
Watch this |
| View More Posts Ignore |
I know this is long, but it's been bottled up for so many years...
I know I don't need to label myself, but I hate not knowing what I am. Growing up, I always had little crushes on female teachers, or other girls, but I was also attracted to boys. When I got to college I was unbelievably attracted to my (female) best friend. I don't think I really felt that way for anyone. We were drunk one night and made out and it was the greatest feeling in the world. I had never felt that way with any guy before. I continued dating guys, but penis' always grossed me out. When I met my most recent boyfriend I had a really difficult time getting physical with him until I realized I loved him. I was able to get intimate after that, but didn't want any of the foreplay, I just wanted him in and then be done with it. Though I did enjoy it, I never climaxed. We broke up three years ago and I haven't been with anyone since. I've dated a few guys, some were really great, but I was just not into them for one reason or another. Whenever a guy touches me, I sort of cringe. I have a serious issue with penis' and think it probably has to do with a date rape I had in college. Even now when I dance with guy friends and they try to grind I push them away even though they mean nothing by it. I am so sick of being alone and really want some companionship, but I don't know where to look. Every time I try to get with a guy, I freak out, but I've never considered being with another girl and wouldn't know where to start or how to find any. If anyone has any thoughts, experiences, or helpful links or information I would greatly appreciate it!! Thanks Posted on 02/18/08, 10:02 pm |
| 27 Replies | Most Recent | Add Your Reply |
| View More Posts Ignore |
honey, you're probably gay. try meeting some women etc... do you have any close friends to confide in? any gay ones that you can hang out with? 
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
It's difficult because I'm not at a place where I am ready to "come out" because I don't know what I am. I don't know any lesbians, but I live in Chicago and I guess there is a large gay community.
My brother is gay and he came out when he lived in Chicago, but I think it was more obvious to him that he was gay. Is anything I am saying resonating with anyone else. My not liking penis', having sex with a guy but still having these feelings, not knowing what I am... Does anyone have advice as to what my next step should be? I mean I'm not ready to go into a girl bar or anything but I'm not sure where else to meet lesbians.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
Maybe try talking to a therapist about sorting out your feelings?
This site seems to refer to therapists with special sensitivity and experience with gay and lesbian issues. www.glitse.com
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
I actually am seeing a therapist. She suggested that I be open to whatever I may be and to not be in such a hurry to figure it out. She suggested that I start by joining a support group where I can talk with other people who have similar feelings.
I figured joining this would be a good first step, I'm just not sure where to go from here. I guess hearing from other people about their experiences would be helpful.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
if your brother is gay. why dont you talk to him about it. you dont nessesserally have to say that your a lesbian.. but maybes you could hit the gay scene with him?
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
You could be a lesbian... But this might also be a result of what happened to you in college, and sometimes feelings towards the same sex go away after you get over those issues. Sometimes they don't. I was molested and afraid I wouldn't love girls after a while, but then I realized it's just who I am. You need to figure out the reason why you are this way, I think.
And if you realize you are a lesbian, it doesn't matter that you don't know how to find a girl. It will happen eventually. Or you could join some kind of support group, look into some in your area. :)
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
You're telling my story.
Babe, I think you're gay. It's a good thing though! I suggest you start watching The L Word ;) It'll help you understand yourself and our little cloistered world better, lol. I went from guy to guy for a long time, but as soon as it turned sexual, I would start to hate him and want him out of my life, even if I thought I was in love with him before that. And when I DID love a guy and had sex with him, I also didn't want any foreplay or any of that. I didn't climax during sex. Aside from that, there's nothing wrong with labeling yourself. If you feel comfortable calling yourself strictly gay, then that's what you should do. If you prefer to be called bisexual, do that. It's all up to you. You don't have to come out immediately. Take some time, explore who you are. I recommend Second Life. It's a great, safe chat program that gives you a chance to explore your sexuality. That's what I started doing when I first suspected I was gay.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
Thank you everyone for your comments, they help more than I can explain.
I consider myself a very open person, especially when it comes to homosexuality. But to be completely honest, I'm at a point where I don't want to be gay. It just seems so weird, almost gross for me to be with another woman. But after hearing what everyone is saying and seeing how I am with guys I'm thinking it might be true. When I did have a boyfriend, I liked having sex, but I would feel guilty when he would go down on me and then I wouldn't want to go down on him. I didn't want to see it, let alone have it in my mouth! I even get grossed out now when I see a male dog, especially when they have balls. I feel so weird for thinking that and I'm not sure if it's just because maybe I'm a lesbian, or if my hatred of penis' has to do with being raped. (I am talking to my therapist about this, I am just curious if anyone else has felt this way) PS: I'm not always this lost, confused, and serious...this is all just so new to me.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
hello undecided,,,you are so telling my story...well, i got tired of being who i really should be and I finally had the nerve to come out, n surprising most of my frens and family were like 'yeah we knew'.....but when i came out i was so relieved and have been so much happier and having a blast being a lesbian and single..i'll find someone, but for right now i'm enjoying being myself for once in my life....my biggest advice would be to not wait to long to be yourself....i have to agree with the first reply, sounds like your gay and there's not a damn thing wrong with it,,,,remember you'll always have your sistas here backign you up.. oh yeah, I completely understand about being in a place where its not to gay friendly, i live in southern oklahoma..haha beat that Just joking...but you know when i came out, i found a huge gay community here and loving it, good luck with your decision hugskissesNpride jwls
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
Why is it that when a girl comes out as lesbian or bi the immediate response is ussually "I think you should see a therapist?" You know yourself and you should listen with your heart, not your mind. (believe me I know). Your mind is probably telling you something and you probably listen. But your heart is probably telling you something else, so why not tune in and listen? As for going to gay bars...I don't think you are ready for that yet. Just like with anything else in your life, you need to think things through, get comfortable in your skin, adjust to your true self and embrace it. You mentioned that you had a traumatic experience in college and may be you are not dealing with it head-on. You need to empower yourself, be proud of who you are, and remind yourself that you are brave when you feel lost. I hope you know that your confusion will fade once you think about what you want.
|
|
|
|
||
| First | Previous | Page: 1 2 3 | Next | Most Recent | Add Your Reply |
Hello. I've been attracted to women since I was a little girl, but most of my relationships have been pretty innocent. …
I keep wondering, how people really know. I have had conversations with many people that have come across to me as if …
I've known I was at least bi since I was a little kid---I can remember having crushes on girls and boys from the first …
