A coma is a profound state of unconsciousness. A comatose patient cannot be awakened, fails to respond normally to pain or light, does not have sleep-wake cycles, and does not take...
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Dealing with emotions regarding coma victim
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My boyfriend's younger brother was recently in a horrible car accident and both he and his girlfriend are comatose as a result. The stress and trauma of this situation is very difficult for my boyfriend to cope with and he did so by shutting out all support but his immediate family, which also means myself. We are no longer together because of this, not by any choice of mine. I have very little understading of how to deal not only with my grief over his brother, but also losing him at the same time and to circumstances outside either of our control. I'm really struggling with this. I know that things are very difficult for him right now, but I feel like it was even more selfish of him to shut me out and then leave me to try to deal with this alone that to have let me be there and we could help each other cope.
I just need some feedback, ideas on how to deal... I'm really really struggling. I feel abandoned, hurt, angry, selfish because I feel that way... Its so twisted. What do I do now, with my feelings and emotions? I don't have a sounding board, no one really knows what to tell me when I try to talk about this. Am I just stuck? I lost two people I love and I have to just deal with it alone? I don't understand why my boyfriend couldn't see that even though he thinks he can do this without me, I can't do it by myself. I don't have any real way to know how to manage my own grief. He lost one person and I lost two. Somebody please give me some advice. This is hurting really bad. Posted on 07/10/08, 12:07 am |
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hi there and welcome to the group i am very new also.
Sounds like your Boyfriend doesn't know how to show his feelings or deal with what he is feeling right now. how old is he... I am so sorry to here all this how are you doing ? One thing that I ask myself in my sons accident, coma etc . was very helpful for me is What does God want me to learn from this so i started looking and listning for God. You are in a very hard place right now with many hurtful things going on... and you are Very alone remember God is with you and when you feel you can not walk anymore but seem to be moving through your days that is when God is carrying you. did your boyfriend break up with you? I know he will need time is he is reacting like this he could be in shock himself ... there are lots of books out there about people with brain injury and some experts wrote get them at library read them and gently take them to him or it might help you when you talk to him, sounds like he is very hurt. there are many things you can do for coma patients to help them come out the number one is Pray over them to is talk to them and treat them as if they are looking at you and talking back to you. I went for 9 months doing this for my son . and one day i walked in and said good morning Jonathan like always and he was laying there awake looking at ceiling I didnt freak out i just gently walked up and kept talking and approached with caution and said hi this is mom . see he was like infant and couldnt see in the beginning only close up he said it was just shadows. and he recognized my shape and voice. please write back I will be praying for you and yours . God Bless You 
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Hello:
I just joined the group and read your story. I've been in a coma and have spent the past year and a half getting myself back together. Your boyfriend is probably trying to concentrate on family before he considers anyone or anything else. The best thing you could probably do is to let him know that you're there to help in any way you can. If you try to pressure him in any way, it would probably backfire on you. It took me awhile, but I had to start considering how other people were affected by my accident, and that it wasn't just affecting me.
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