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new member, not very new challenges
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I'm sorry to start my membership here with a post, I normally try to contribute a little more first, but I figured I needed some place to finally get this all written down. God only knows how good I am at unintentionally holding all this crap in.
I'm transferring from community college to a 4 year university, finally. My girlfriend is graduating high school as well. My situation started in high school, as a senior I sent out numerous applications to colleges which my adviser wanted to review and then send out for me. He never sent them, in fact he totally lost them, and deadlines came and went. I was left in the dust, community college my only option. (probably could have, and should have sued). 1 semester at community college, I promised myself, then I'm gone. I got lazy with that attitude and failed to pay proper attention to transfer deadlines, they passed. Whatever, 1 more semester right? You already know where this is heading, that deadline came and went. I was about ready to give up. 3rd semester, after a very long summer, I promise myself again that this is really it. Long story short, I had this 8am class 3 days a week, the teacher allows 3 absences max, I had 4, I got an F. Ruined the GPA, all schools deny me and say re apply in june. This past semester and even one class I'm finishing now is all part of a 23 credit semester to repair the damage and rush in a degree to help with the transfer process. It wasn't easy, but it certainly made transferring easier. The problem is my grades still aren't good enough to do what I really (think) I want to do. I just think I need to get away from my seriously stress inducing parents, into a school where I can make some damn friends (seriously, community college is just business...get in and get out...nobody wants to know you), and play competitive ice hockey again. While the latter isn't number 1 priority, it's something that keeps my grades straight and my mind sane. All that said I'm going to a school where I will major in something I have zero interest in, just for the sake of getting away from home which drives me insane. My grades will go up as my major (english) is my best subject so I guess that's good...but damn do I hate it....and I certainly don't want to do it for a living. I also really badly want a career that doesn't cap off in terms of salary so easy, I want to be able to push myself further and get rewarded for it. My girlfriend has this desire to go to a school way far away from me, (4 hours, not terrible but it feels like it), she insists its the only school with her major but it totally isn't, I've checked, and creative writing is available in a lot of more local places. Still, she ONLY applied here, ONLY visited here. I feel like some other kind of influence is dragging her out there, and it's creepy as hell. Also, her relationship with me is very physically dependent I feel. I mean that in more than one way, so needless to say, that worries me a ton. Also I'll be living off campus, I felt like going to live in a dorm and be on campus always was my main intention of going away to school. Making friends living off campus....that just worries me. Makes me not want to do it almost. Especially if I'm not even enjoying the major I'm going there for, and I'll have no friends....I'll be miserable. That's about it for now, again I just needed to get this down somewhere. If you managed to read through it all or even breeze through it a little, then I thank you. also, my dad needs to learn how to use the AC =] garrrrr also also, I'm sick and its not fun :( Posted on 06/23/08, 07:06 pm |
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your gf being 4hrs away from you is not that bad. If you trust her then you have nothing to worry about. I don't think you should stop her from going to a school she really wants to go to. You don't want her holding tha against you that won't do you guys any good.
what do you plan to do with a major in English? are you sure you want to major in something that you already know you don't want to do for the rest of your life? It won't make life any easier. Try to be more focused in your new school. Jobs like to look at transcripts. Some jobs even want transcripts from all of the colleges you've attended, so keep that in mind. Sorry to hear you're not feeling well. Hope you get better soon. 
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This story sounds so very familiar, probably because I am presently living it. Well besides having a gf (in my case a bf). Regarding your girlfriend have you tried talking to her and asking her why she has to go to that particular school, and if she replys saying it's the only uni that has her major, tell you about your findings and tell her how you feel (i know it sounds girly but it works!). About your schooling a word of advice don't do a major that you have no interest in, thats not only a waste of money but time. I'm pretty sure there are other courses that offer classes that are revolved around english but are in a different field, ie psychology, history or geography etc. And what about kin classes, and in that way you're playing sports and you can do something later with it. Lastly this may sound a bit harsh, but if your gf wants to go somewhere else whether its 4 hours away or4 days, let her if you stop her from going where she wants to go you may just loose her or she'll stay but become very bitter towards you. If you have deep enough feelings for her let her go, if your fears come true don't you think you took a good chance. If you're afraid of her cheating on you, why not find out now before you get way head over heels. (sorry like i said it's harsh, hence why the screen name's negativity)
Cheers, negativity ps. feel better
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Thanks for the words everyone. I'm not sure where it came across that I was trying to stop her from going to that particular school, but that's definitely never been the case.
The problem with the major I've chosen is that I don't know exactly what I want to do anyway. Only what I don't want to do. I definitely don't want to teach, most people who are English majors seem to go that way.
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My school has this test that you can take. I forgot what it's called. But you answer all of these questions and based on the answers it tells you what would be a good major for you... you should try it out if I remember the name of the test I'll let you know, but if your college has it they'll know what you're talking about. Goodluck!!!
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So I dont knoe where ur going to college in the fall, but @ my school after 2 years on campus it is mandatory to move off campus. And even still u can easily find friends in ur building. Also when classes start, you'll be able to find friends, with group projects and what not. And just hangin out around campus, honestly the friends i have made at school, i dont even knoe how i made them, just randomly. It will be okay.
Also your major, you can always change it! Do it for like a semster and if you are completley sure then change it. I have already changed the type of degree that I am recieving. I did not accept this to happen but it did and after a while I became okay with it. So just investigate what u really want and then u can always change it!
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Are you majoring in English because you like it or because you are good at it? I'm amazing in English and I can tell you, I would never major in it. Not because I don't like it, because it isn't very hands on.
Don't major in something just because you are good at it. That is where you get into trouble because then college seems like you are wasting your time. If you want a career where the work you put in is the benefits you get out think about possibly Business or Marketing. I was a Business major for a couple semesters and I can tell you, it seems as if they have no limit. When it comes to meeting people, just keep an open mind and remember that no one knows you, so you don't have to live up to any expectations from strangers. Just try to chill out and have fun and I guarentee making friends won't be a problem.
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Thanks everyone. My major is English,my passion in life other than hockey is computers. I didn't just want to program though, I wanted to do more. So I looked at Computer Engineering, but I'm just horrible at math and my GPA isn't Engineering school material. Math becomes a rather big part of that major too. I mostly teach myself everything just because I find it fun, it's really what I do with a lot of my spare time. But it's difficult to crack into and some other things about it worry me.
The only reason I'm going through with it is because I have to choose something, I'd have the same feelings with likely any major I can choose, only I wouldn't be as good at it.. In terms of meeting friends, I'm not too worried...it's just werid to me, realizing that I may well never live on a college campus. Plus the way it is here (new york state) is all the SUNY (state university of new york) schools preeeettty much have to accept you once you get a degree from my community college, it's some sort of agreement. I don't fully understand it but every SUNY school accepts you after that. My problem is how fake it feels if they accept me but don't give me housing. It's like they're accepting me but don't really want me...oh wait :( They offer me no help in finding off campus housing either, zero. Not feeling too welcome.
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Well..it sounds like you are having some difficulties...in my opinion your gf wants some space, if she is just finishing high school she might wanna experience the "college way of living"...and you just trust that whatever happens will be for the best =) About school i know what you mean abut not knowing what you want, been there, actually am there...:S
Well my advice..is go with your instict..=)
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Thanks for the replies everyone, I really appreciate them all. I forgot to mention that my GF keeps trying to get me to go to her school or at least a school closer to her. Which is why I'm so confused about why she couldn't just do it the other way around. Regardless it's not really something worth arguing to her, space is probably good for both of us, me a little more than her maybe.
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I'm sad to report that it's already going terribly. She had orientation the past 2 days and I've never been so stressed out in my life. I was having what I assume to be some form of anxiety or panic attacks where I cannot control my breathing, get real fuzzy vision, and really need some time to settle myself down and get feeling physically okay again.
I just feel like everythings stacked against me. My biggest concern is that my girlfriend is slightly oblivious to guys coming on to her, and as we all know, guys don't give a crap whether or not a girl has a boyfriend. Me being a rather protective type of person (for reasons that have made me this way forever), I should have seen this problem coming. For 3 months some kid was talking to her online, and then having text message conversations with her. She would be texting this kid while we're hanging out, trying to have some alone time, which drove me insane. He would count down the days until he got to see her, every day, or at strange hours of the night, phone calls and texts. She saw nothing wrong with this. The day comes, he finally meets her, and I don't know what happened but she just told me she's never talking to him again and removed him as a facebook friend and is ignoring his calls and texts. She's shocked that he clearly at LEAST came on to her. And that happening almost pushed me over the edge until: She's rooming with her official roommate at their orientation. What's the first thing her roommate does the first night? 12:00, she invites into their room, not one, not two, but SEVEN guys. All guys, and seven, which neither of them know any of them. I flipped the hell out. Last night her rommate, had a "sleep over" with two guys. How cute, my girlfriend noted both guys did not have their pants on in the morning. She has this one friend who likes to call her sexy as kind of a nick name, and is mad at me because I'm offended by that. Two other guys have supposedly came on to her(my girlfriend) a lot. I'm not surprised because I notice them also texting her all the time and leaving her tons of facebook messages. You can see this crap coming a mile away and it kills me inside that she lets them think they can do that. I've always been there when crap like this happens to make sure it never happens again, but for the next four years, I'm just going to have to deal with the fact that my girlfriend will more than likely be hit on every day, felt up, potentially kissed, and simply have filthy crap spoken to her all the time. I've officially lost it. It doesn't help that her roommate is a total skank either.
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