Codependency Support Group

I think that asking others to decide if you are codependent is decidedly codependent. I think codependency traits exist elsewhere in society, but they are used unhealthily by codependents. There are checklists all over the web, and I strongly reccomend Melody Beattie's books-Codependent No More is helping me alot. Only you know if those symptoms are you. It seems that you sense there IS something unhealthy between you and your husband. Just check it out. We are a nice group of people trying to take off the masks, heal, and help each other.

thank you, your reply actually made me smile. i don't think others need to decide for me what i am, just tell me what the actual symptoms are. i truly love my husband, but yes i sense in quite a few ways that it is anything but healthy. i have all of the excuses in the worldfor him, for myself and for our relationship. i am just extremly unclear as to what codependancy actually is. i checked out some of the check lists but each one said different things so i am just foggy as to what is really meant. can't you be a healthy codependant? i mean from what i read codependants are "mr.fix its" and want to help and solve others problems. i want to thank you very much for replying to me, i was very excited. i am in 4 support groups on this web site and thus far you are the only one who replied to me. thank you very much. you seem very nice and i don't know if you read my journal entry for today or not but i said almost ver batem about the masks. great minds huh?

Usually when one asks the question they already know the answer deep inside and only you know exactly what your relationships make you feel like. Welcome to DS, there are many fine people here and my only suggestion is to take what you need and leave the rest as no two situations are exactly alike. What we do have in common is an underlying bond and by sharing our experiences and especially our successes we grow and learn to live a happy, productive healthy life. Blessings and I wish you the best.

If you click on Recommendations on this page, you find links to books and websites that will help you recognize your own signs of codependency.

I was just as confused when I first realized I was codependent. Wasn't sure (still not sure) which actions and thoughts were healthy and unhealthy. I find the websites very helpful. I ordered Codependent No More.

Difficult thing about getting help on these boards is....well....we are codependent!

Good luck and wish you healing!

going to CoDA meetings in the real world has been the most help for me. As they say at the meetings "the only requirement for joining a codependents anonymous group is wanted to have healthy relationships." I think the groups and the books already recomended can help anyone see where they may be going wrong in relationships.
The one thing that you can take from this, if you get nothing else is: YOU CAN ONLY CONTROL YOURSELF. You cannot ever EVER control other people. By being true to yourself and honest with yourself and others in your relationships, the path you should follow for the most fulfillment will present itself.