Codependency Support Group

Call someone else instead. A friend, a co-worker, a family member. Just to take your mind off him. Listen to someone else's life for awhile.

I agree with Koolman, this is definitely not healthy. Maybe go to the movies or a bookstore. Find a juicy mystery or a stack of gossip magazines, or a slapstick comedy. Eat spicy ethnic food, go to a museum!
Big hugs! This is hard!

I know exactly how you feel. I am my own worst enemy. I never could fight the "urge" off, no matter what I tried, I always wound up calling him, running after him, making a fool out of myself. Wondering every day who he was seeing. Envisioning him with who ever she was-laughing, having sex. Driving myself crazy. I just finally got sick of it all. Where I used to be willing to give "him" everything, I now almost find him repulsive. Now he is almost to the point of running after me, and I don't even want him anymore. It just takes time, prayer and support from friends.

This happened to me and for me I was addicted to a person. There are ways that books and therapists tell you to stop obsessing about someone. What has worked for me is to understand WHY I was obsessing. Wanting love and the fear of being abandoned has always been my issue and I understand that whilst I was with him I was getting my 'hit' just like drink or drugs. What you are feeling now is what I would have described as withdrawal. That does not mean that I am correct in what I am saying about your situation.

Understanding myself has been the single biggest recovery tool for myself and when I understand is to love and accept myself.

As Marianne Williamson says life changes and men leave and that is something we have to accept and to send them on their way and make our own way in life. You deserve better for yourself, so go and find someone better.

Only you can stop yourself, you just have to make up your mind to stop.

Thank you everyone. I have kept busy with work. I must admit that while I was able to sleep my mind was being overworked. I was dreaming, thinking, and trying to quiet down all the noise, all while I slept.

Work helped, I also called my siblings, my parents. I have been reading non-stop
BITCH Magazine, Open Hear, Clear Mind by Thubten Chodron, and Codependent No More

I know I will feel the worst at night, right before I go to bed...but I will see what I can do then...

Thank you everyone for the support/advice.

Reading is such a lifesaver! I like those quick reading mysteries! Lite fare when I am depressed!

Hey I really have no room to talk on this subject because like someone posted before me I too am going thru this and he is my "addiction" can't get him out of my mind. It doesn't really matter how many ppl tell me to let go it just seems impossible. I am going to share my favorite poem with you, I read it every time I feel like calling sometimes it works.
After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul. You learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't always mean security and you begin to learn that kisses aren't promises. You begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead with the grace of a woman not the grief of a child. You learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in midflight. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much so you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure that you really are strong and you really do have worth and you learn and you learn with every goodbye you learn.

It may not help you but it does help me it reminds me that I and only I am in control of me. Good luck to you! I will keep you in my prayers.
No person can enter your broken heart and share it with you. Sorrow is a personal and individual and ofentimes a very lonely experince.