Codependency Support Group

I'm going through that same journey myself. Deciding what I believe for my own reasons. So much of recovery relies on said "higher power" but often I question it's existence. I posted a thread similar to this in the Advice area, some of the responses I got were quite enlightening, I recommend giving them a gander. If nothing else, it will give you different perspectives.

http://dailystrength.org/c/Codepen...

this is the post i mentioned.

I consider myself a "recovering catholic" The god I knew was a punishing God. I am better believing as our native Americans did and do, there is a god of fire, of light, of sun, of air, of heavens and of earth. There is a spirit created from the energy of all living and created things and we are part of that spirit. By believing in spirit, I believe in myself.

I"m not sure why I believe... I was raised in a Protestant household and always went to church. When I went to college I sort of grew away from that and towards 'spirituality'. Whatever that meant. Basically I've always believed there is something out there. Probably because on my worst days I get through it. Because I see angels everywhere. I've had some amazing life experiences. Call me crazy but I 'hear' someone when I'm praying answering me. Maybe it's just me..... who knows. I have a faith that something exists. Many days it's because I can't imagine what it means if there is nothing else. I find it soothing.

I believe that it's not "out there", it's "in here", inside your own heart. Some source of love that you can draw upon for strength. Relax, clear your mind of clutter and B.S. and just love that source within you. It's there; you just have to quiet your mind...my feeling anyway.

I do believe in God, I was a pretty jaded Christian for a looong time b/c I thought to be a Christian I had to agree with alot of other people's opinions. Then I found the emerging movement. If Christianity is what appeals to you, I suggest the books, Everything Must Change by Brian McLaren and Velvet Elvis by Robb Bell.
Of course, there are many other paths to ponder, but apparently for me to connect to my Higher Power, it needed to be down a path I had already traversed and could see with new eyes.
Good Luck. You are loved by the Great Truth, b/c if there is one and I believe there is, it is all about love.

I grew up in a dysfunctional Catholic family and so the perception of God was extremely twisted and perverted.

So I find that any person seeking the "truth" really needs to get some hard facts about God, and that means reading the entire Bible from front to back. That way we find out what is what and what is not for our self.

I was taught to be afraid of the Bible thinking if one reads it then we must then become a Priest or a Nun or some thing like that and I was very afraid of what the BOOK would do to me. That fear is a dysfunction.

I found this other book about the Bible to help me read the Bible and it is free to get or read it on line right there, link below;

http://lit.pcog.org/Default.asp?si...

Some people resist that kind of link offer and that is all it is as a recommendation from only me.

And for recovery we do not have to use "God" as the higher power. And we can have more then one higher powers because there really are more then one.

Like the US gov and the Constitution and Bill of Rights are all higher powers for all Americans, because it is our higher power government and it has real power and its rules and boundaries for us all.

I just see God as the highest of the other higher powers.

That works for me.

The Bible actually does offer a lot of common-sense principles that may not mean we have to be a "priest" or "nun", but show us a healthy way to live. I like the passage (I believe in Mathew) about "if one can't control their animal urges, one should marry" LOL.

God/ Higher Power to me is the force that protected me. The one who walked beside me in my abusive childhood. The one who comforted me when beaten with dog leashes and locked in coal bins. God/ Higher Power can be anything, when it comes to 12 step recovery. It is not a Christian Context. God can also be autonomous It's your own personal definition. If you believe that your very survival was what got you through, then you can be your own God/Higher Power. As the Buddhist believe.
Don't let God/ Higher Power ambivalence smirk your recovery. Sometimes if you just remain open to this question, and really are open to an unexpected answer, things will happen. There is a strange serenity to surrender. Don't worry, everyone has questions about this in recovery. It's perfectly wonderful, that you ask.
A step forward is always better than one step back!

I really like what Hamsteronawheel had to say. I am a Christian, but I must say I am a bit of a Universalist. I just think we have to feel that deep love and tap into it, and know that it is directed our way, personally, by a guiding force. At least I have to. And for me that path is Christianity. But I don't think you HAVE to be a Christian.