A "codependent" is loosely defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for other people's struggles.
Codependency advocates claim a codependent ...
|
Relaxing Into Recovery
|
Watch this |
| View More Posts Ignore |
I've done a fifth step by way of draining all of my confusion and crap onto my sponsor. There's more to this step than that. I find it's very hard for me to communicate with God, myself, let alone another person - about exactly who I am. I am getting better at having "light conversation" with people, and my sponsor tells me I'm much more balanced and mature. Clarity comes in waves, and in those waves have admitted the "exact nature of my wrongs" to myself and God. How do I know when I talk to my sponsor that I will discuss what needs discussed without over-analyzing? Perhaps I need to do some more fourth step work on this topic? But I'd like to move forward and just trust the process. This seems so difficult. Anyone going through this?
For me it seems this step comes down to communication, self-responsibility, honesty, and trust. Posted on 08/03/08, 10:08 pm |
| 4 Replies | Add Your Reply |
| View More Posts Ignore |
Thanks for sharing Elise. I am also going through the steps in a recovery group and have recently gone through the 4th and 5th steps. I hear that a concern of yours is being over-analytical. I can definitely relate there. I think it would be a great idea to bring that concern up with your sponsor and others in your group so that can point out to you when you are trying to analyze and judge your thoughts. This helps see behaviors and things we say without even being aware of it.
I know for me, it was a very difficult thing for me not do the same thing. I have lived with myself and have hurt for so long and what I learned to do was figure myself out. I am learning that part of the recovery process is to help us realize it is ok to feel certain things, and to not feel the overwhelming obsession to solve the problems. 
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
Thank you. That last sentence hit a key note with me "obsession to solve the problems". I suppose even in recovery I have to remind myself of Step 1, that ultimately I am powerless over my recovery - especially when my hidden motivation is to "fix" instead of live.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
I love the last part of your post Notthehero. "Obsession to solve the problems" and its okay to feel our feelings. This hits home. thx NotTHEhero.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
i struggle with this too. i think we can become so analytical and we feel we are not "doing" this "right" or good enough or whatever.
something that has helped me tremendously are these affirmations which i have used to substitute for these negative types of thoughts: 1. progress not perfection 2. my life is unfolding in a perfect way. sometimes we have to step back and stop trying to control our recovery. to allow it to just happen. learn to trust our gut and our intuitiveness. ******hugs******
|
|
|
|
||
Wednesday, May 14, 2008 You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie …
I have been in CoDA for over 2 years now. It literally saved my life. For over a year, I have known deep in my heart …
Alright, here comes the feeling vulnerable thing again! I have to find someone to tell all the stuff from step for to, …
