A "codependent" is loosely defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for other people's struggles.
Codependency advocates claim a codependent ...
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Breaking it off for good
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I guess I'm just really venting here. My ex-husband and I agreed to stay friends through our divorce, which we've done. I see the choices he makes and somehow I think I 'know' they are bad for him. It makes me so angry. I know how codependent this sounds, I feel I need to break off our contact for good. Our relationship just isn't healthy for me. It hurts a lot, I hate to lose him completely, but I know that hanging on is just me holding out because of my codependency and how much it centers on him. I'm really not asking for advice here, just support if someone that understands can give it. I know I'm strong, I'm just not sure I can totally do this without some backing. =)
Posted on 07/14/08, 07:07 am |
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Of course you're pulled to still be involved in his life and decisions etc. He was your husband! That's a very heavy involvement that's difficult to shut off from, even when we do not want to be romantically involved anymore.
I think you are detaching in layers from him...first the divorce, and now the cosmic pull of him still being in your life. Don't be so hard on yourself. You've gotten through a very hard part, the divorce, and now you will work on separating emotionally. Take baby steps. You are strong and you've proved it already. Keep going.. hugs 
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I hope you can find your way to counseling. I went through a very similar thing. I say the relationship in a certain way. Thinking I was being mature and managing. My therapist helped me see it correctly. - Me refusing to let go and keeping him in my life under any type of circumstance - She helped me redefine the relationship and helped me let him go completely. I am so grateful and much happier.
Good Luck to you.
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please, let go or get dragged along for the ride...
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thank you all for your replies, it really helped. I was able to tell him that I can't see him anymore and that it was for my own good. I can no longer be preoccupied with his well-being because I need to focus on my own, I need to heal and he's going to have to be okay with that. I really appreciate all of your support-Thank you all!
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