A "codependent" is loosely defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for other people's struggles.
Codependency advocates claim a codependent ...
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ok so im new here - hi!!! and its come to my attention that i might have codependency issues...along with all the others ive got!!!
anyway, i wondered how it is you define yourself as codependent. for years ive just believed im way too needy and rely emotionally on my partners at the time. im only happy when im in love but when i am, my behaviour is sometimes a bit irrational but i dont know why. for instance, my boyfriend is away on holiday and it turned my world upside down from the moment he left. i have found it extremely difficult to function - which is just ridiculous i know, but i havent been able to help it. people say, oh u just miss him, but i know its more than that. its not normal to feel so depressed and helpless just because he's on holiday - ive been acting as if he's died or something. my behaviour has totally shocked me and i feel so lazy and pathetic. i just wish i could snap out of it. anyway, he's back a week tomorrow so hopefully everything will be ok. i feel pretty selfish atm because im starting to resent him for leaving me for 18 days. i feel abandoned, which i know isnt fair. i have often wondered about my needy behaviour over the years with my different boyfriends, and this was the last straw really. i realised i need help. if this makes any sense to anyone, id appreciate your words. even if it is just to tell me to get a life and grow up!!! im a little worried. thanks for listening x Posted on 07/03/08, 08:07 am |
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First, let me just say welcome! :) I'm glad you found us, it sounds like you came to the right place. Codependency is a tough issue, and the first step toward dealing with it finding out if you have it. I'd say most likely, but I'm not exactly qualified to diagnose you, so I definitely suggest finding a counselor to talk to. Good luck to you! HUGS 
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thank you :)
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Hey mylove, hope ur liking us so far. I go to therapy nd i sound a bit like how uyou have described urself wen in relationships. I havent been exactly diagnosed as co dependant but my therapist surely isnt disagreeing with me wen i say i am so im taking that as a yes. I would definatly go to councelling or therapy if i was you its heped me so much. I just kind of fell into it as i got an epilectic dissorder and they thought it would help. Until then i thought it was just issues from my rape nd my child hood that were the problems. I never thought i was co-dependant.
I have learnt so much from therapy and the fantastic people here. So gd luck and any time u wana talk, vent or wateva im here. xxx
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i used to do the same thing before i was married and to be honest for a long time afterwards. it wasn't until i started reading books about codependency and attending support groups that i began to realize how obsessive i was being. i had to force myself to do the things i would ordinarably be doing if i wasn't in a relationship like hanging out with friends, reading or anything that i enjoyed doing besides focusing on the other person. We can change if we work at it.
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i agree with blooming....read some books on codependency. When I started reading them it was like someone had written my biography! There are many good books and websites (like this one) to connect yourself to. Imho, if you feel worried, make an appt. with a counselor and discuss your feelings. I was the same way when my husband would be gone for only a day. I would sit like a lump and feel sorry for myself that he was gone. Through therapy and reading, I have learned that I am okay when he is not around. And I am still learning everyday about myself...
warm hugs, runningbear
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