A "codependent" is loosely defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for other people's struggles.
Codependency advocates claim a codependent ...
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how do you know when you your recovery is working
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all this time we put into helping ourselves recover from being codependents and enablers, how do we know when it is working? is it the new way we go about things? i feel like a stronger person and i feel like im not easily taken advantage of like before.when my husbnd is around for a few days and im not 100% convinced that he is not useing, i see his old habits come back and im not sure that im responding the right way. i feel like im showing him forgivness and grace and he is still trying to take advantge.im speaking up when i feel the need. he walks around here suspious and i call him on it. he claims he's not useing,but i don't beleive him.how do i know that my recovery is working? any advice would be great.God bless
Posted on 06/21/08, 05:06 am |
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You describe your recovery as working very well.
"It is that new way we go about doing things." Yes that is it. Your husband is not in recovery so he still does his same old games and now you have boundaries so he does not control you or your feelings and you have saved the marriage relationship without loosing your self identity. I would call that as a huge success in your recovery. You evaluating him instead of just accepting, making certain he does not use instead of being powerless, recognizing old habits as red flags, giving forgiveness instead of keeping anger, and speaking your feelings instead of supressing the feelings, keeping your doubts instead of believing lies, those are your boundaries - and well done. Recovery does not get rid of problems or difficulties, but recovery lets us deal with our concerns in healthy ways. That your husband walks around "suspicious" sounds cute to me, he must be "crazy" about his wife, smiles. 
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