A "codependent" is loosely defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for other people's struggles.
Codependency advocates claim a codependent ...
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Self Love
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I hope this touches and helps someone this morning. Hugs to you all.
"I woke up this morning and I had a hard time for a while," said one recovering man. "Then I realized it was because I wasn't liking myself very much." Recovering people often say: I just don't like myself. When will I start liking myself? The answer is: start now. We can learn to be gentle, loving, and nurturing with ourselves. Of all the recovery behaviors we're striving to attain, loving ourselves may be the most difficult, and the most important. If we are habitually harsh and critical toward ourselves, learning to be gentle with ourselves may require dedicated effort. But what a valuable venture! By not liking ourselves, we may be perpetuating the discounting, neglect, or abuse we received in childhood from the important people in our life. We didn't like what happened then, but find ourselves copying those who mistreated us by treating ourselves poorly. We can stop the pattern. We can begin giving ourselves the loving, respectful treatment we deserve. Instead of criticizing ourselves, we can tell ourselves we performed well enough. We can wake up in the morning and tell ourselves we deserve a good day. We can make a commitment to take good care of ourselves throughout the day. We can recognize that were deserving of love. We can do loving things for ourselves. We can love other people and let them love us. People, who truly love themselves do not become destructively self-centered. They do not abuse others. They do not stop growing and changing. People who love themselves well, learn to love others well too. They continually grow into healthier people, learning that their love was appropriately placed. Today, I will love myself. If I get caught in the old pattern of not liking myself, I will find a way to get out. Posted on 05/16/08, 05:05 am |
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I love it when Ms. Beattie gives explicit instructions on how to do this recovery thing. I have often wondered if I'm being selfish by concentrating on ME, ME, ME all the time (when I know it's how to get well) because I'm so concerned with how this looks to my family members. Today, I know I can't be a good family member until I learn how to be good to myself.
Thanks, SammieSue1 : ) 
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Very much what I needed to read. Thanks for posting it.
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I find it impossible to tell myself I performed well enough.
From an objective point of view it is obvious I failed in various areas of my life. Telling myself I've done the best I could doesn't help. I keep thinking there must have been a way to do it better. If I tried just that little bit harder to find the right information, or to talk to the right people... I know I tried that in the past, but from where I am standing now I can't stop going and going over things again what I could have done better.
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That concept is what I see the singer "Jewel" saying in her song called "Stronger Woman" link below;
www.cmt.com/videos/jewel/214221/st... It is not a concept nor a song about "selfishness" but about nurturing.
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I agree with you all and appreciate the post. I have been reading on that very subject this morning.
Thanks SammieSue1 Bookie - Excellent example! The song spoke to me the first time I heard it. Words to live by.
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