Codependency Support Group

I think it is a bit fast. I think maybe you need to get to know yourself. But these are your choices, you are the only one responsible for your happiness.

Oh sweetie pie, you are so not alone in feeling this way.

But I think that you already know the answer to your own question - the very fact that you have asked for advice honey indicates there is a struggle going on between your head and your heart, which I am guessing is still broken.

I am also codependent, also learning to recover from an 8 year codependent and abusive relationship and I am learning one of the greatest lessons is to learn how to be a loving presence in your own life. To yourself now, and the little girl within. You can do this too hon. It's hard but it's important.

Babygirl my heart is going out to you. Be careful before you pin your heart, hopes and feelings of worth on someone else.

You have people here you can talk to and you are not alone - even when it feels like you are, I promise you aren't.

I am not a fan of giving advice, because I think we all have the answers in ourselves and just need someone to ask the right questions to bring the answer out.

So I would ask that you imagine that I emailed you the very same message you put on here. Then tell me what advice YOU would give ME if I was in the very same situation.

You can either give me the advice or keep it to yourself, but hang in there sweetie, and let me know how you get on.

Clarified is right - you can be responsible for your own happiness.

Love to you xxx

By learning to be dependant on yourself...the questions you just expressed are the very ones you need to ask your self...Instead of becoming involved with someone else, get to know the true you...self reflection is in order..you don't want to trade a head ache for an upset stomach...JMO

I believe something I read here recently, what I gather to be real applicable to me, as I too seem to be "rebounding" - until we take the time and effort to really heal from the abusive relationship, and learn to have a healthier one, we will be attracted to and drawn into yet another abusive relationship. Counseling with someone experienced in the issue is real important. Sometimes someone new distracts us from the healing, learning and growth we need to get better ourselves in order to attract something better.

My therapist told me to get healthy and get over a relationship, takes 50% of the time you were involved with them. In your case that would be 4 years. If you were working on getting over him while he was in Jail, it would be 2 years. I know my therapist would tell me until I am absolutely happy with my life as a single person, I should not be trying to "hook up" with anyone., otherwise I would likely be repeating all the same mistakes over again.