Codependency Support Group

I guess I don't understand what she "did". Are you safe. Please be more specific so we can help or talk.

She told me she would mak my mother's
deciions not me when ma was dying. she points
finger in face and says do what I say - numerous emails saying I am wrong and bad and whatever she says I have to do
I asked her to let me in on plans for my myo
she put hers in nursing home
adn then shats no mor emails-since death of mom , she is rude and hurtful and was to mom
I never here from kids-5 houses and I get this grief groups said don not answer her
because of the harmful affects- i just got email from her = sent thanks I don't use it any more-I am safe- but this is just a few
with many others that say the same thing.

Sounds like you need better boundaries. I think it would be a good idea to practice detachment and not communicate for awhile. It sounds like you are hurting, you need to do something nurturing for yourself. I hope you get some relief! This sounds like a painful situation.

thanks
I ask to see nieces and nephews for
pizza and she writes back she enjoyed the gift card and had pizza herself
I do not here from the nieces and nephews
andn feel sad and hurt. But saying that
I don't want to see her instead with brother
I have said I don't email-so I hope she stops

Relax, control freak. You can't control others, only yourself.

I cannot control others
I just miss my nieces and nephews
my mother and I would see them and
hear form them sometimes= since then
family is gone-I was the one there to
be caretaker when they were dying-
I don't want to contol just miss family
and trying to make ammends
I hate control freaks

I am very hurt being called control freak
and I guess I shold not ask for advice

I am dropping subject

I think the advice o control freak
is wrong-and hurtfull
to each is own KOOLMAN

we are all "control freaks" that's why we are in this group.

I do not object to being called a "control freak" either since I have been called far worse things.

Many people would call our President Bush another control freak, and having Obama and McCain as want-2-B control freaks.

But I do not like just using it as name-calling because name calling is childish and abusive.

So I suggest NOT name-calling but still calling one a "control freak" does seems apropriate on a codependency Board. It appears that "km" was trying to be helpful in a blunt way.

And I say being controlling is not always a negative thing. My siblings see me as their control freak and that is fine by me because I felt I needed to take control away from their dysfunctions so it is better with me being in control then having those nasty people being in control.

And my family has nieces and nephews that are hidden from our family and I see that as a truly nasty and abusive thing for the parents to do. And the neices and nephews are grown having the youngest being 14 and the oldest being 32 so hiding the nieces and nephews is ridiculous.