Codependency Support Group

so sorry about what happened to you. You will find understanding and support here. Have you had therapy? Do you see your Dad?
It sounds like you figured out your finance was not right for you... good thing.
Stay strong.

What you need is to create serious healthy boundaries - because boundaries are the doorway to health and recovery.

Here is a book about Boundaries from a mildly Christian perspective and it is done excellantly, link below;

http://store.cloudtownsendstore.co...

And it is free through any Public Library, or cheap at Amazon.com

It is hard to get started but the later benefits are super.

Along with what Booky said, I'd also suggest you reiterate a couple things in your mind every day. First off, you must decide whether you want your past to identify who or what you are today. Second,you must decide whether forgiveness is possible to move on.

All too often,we grow up in abusive homes,and believe the programming that our parents either installed or scared into us. If I believed for one minute today(as I did for twenty years prior)that I was stupid,ugly and incapable of being a worthy person in society,I would still be wandering in life,scared and angry. Life growing up has changed me,but it doesn't have to define who I am. Many parents are just nasty character builders-instead they lead selfish lives that impact their children.

The best thing I did,was STOP looking at the past violations as if I was reliving it as a child. It serves no purpose today,or for my future. I decided to look back as an adult,setting aside all the emotions,and just looking at things for what they REALLY were,NOT what I was led to believe. I had a introverted mother,who was overwhelmed by raising three kids alone. She had been abused and at times,couldn't see herself as the adult-so I had to step in as the "mom" at times. I grew up way too fast,was depressed most of my childhood,and was suicidal in my teens. Emotions aside, I can see where my mother lacked maturity. I used to see myself as a victim of circumstances,and in general a victim in life.

At some point you have to leave all the pain,guilt and anger behind from your experiences. Reliving them won't help you live a better life-instead it sucks you back to the past. Learning to be at peace with your past,and work with changing how and who you want to be today,is key.

Hugs,

I highly reccomend Melody Beattie's books Codependent No More, and Choices. Also Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody.
I also want to say that you are not crazy, but you are probably feeling like you are. The pain is pretty bad, and you might want to find a counselor to talk through this with. Women's shelters often offer free counseling to women who have been abused and help you learn about boundaries and how to stop the cycle of abuse.
Best wishes and HUGS!

I did Coda workshops and saw therapists, and did biofeedback, it took alot for me to get over it, about 5 years of serious therapy, my mom and dad are alcoholic and very abusive, and my uncle to tried to strangle me to death, while my dad was there and he did nothing, probably cause he was scared of his brother, but I wasn't when I turned about 21 I faced him and told him what i thought, it helped me, I also read the book toxic parents and I think that book saved my life, I was so depressed before that. Me 10 yrs ago and me today are two different people, i love the person I am today. Take care.