Codependency Support Group

Hey, Can't offer much advice as I am in the same boat. I guess I just wanted you to know that you're not alone.

Thanks...
this boat sucks... I think we should trade it in for a newer model or something... :)

Well us men are said to always try to "fix" things and I am stuck in that process and so here is my answer to the question.

The way to say "no" comes from our higher power.

That is why it is called a "higher power" because it is more powerful then our self and thus we know what to say "yes" or "no" to based on our higher power.

Everybody knows about God and Jesus so lets say the "higher power" is the U.S. Government because it is very powerful over us all.

The gov tells us the laws of do this and do not do that therefore it gives us our "yes and no" boundaries.

The USA says we have the inalienable right to "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" and so any other person that abuses us in our life, liberty or pursuit of H and we can tell them "no" based on that higher power boundary.

I like the gov as my higher power but I also like God and the Bible at the same time being other "higher powers" because we can have more then one higher powers.

So Jesus and the Bible tells me that we are all children of God and so no one has any right to treat me as a piece of trash or in any other negative way, and I have no right to treat myself that way either.

Our self esteem comes from following a rightful higher power.

Codependent people virtually have to follow our abuser(s) and the abuser becomes our higher power because the violence and abuse is a negative type of higher power and so for recovery one must find a rightful higher power that is worthy of following to base our "yes and no" onto.

Healthy boundaries means what we say "yes" to and what we say "no" to.

Trying to make other people happy, and following other people, and even putting our trust into other people - is just not the right way.

We can make some people happy, and we can follow some people, and we can put some trust in some people, but that is not the way out of codependency.

Even with the gov as a higher power that means only the gov and not the people in gov.

Respect the office of President and of State Governor but the person in those offices are just equal people like our self - children of God but not God.

Our higher power needs to be like the government and its laws but not the person(s) in gov.

This is my belief and it works for me.

And "ezstreet" is very correct in saying that "you are not alone".