A "codependent" is loosely defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for other people's struggles.
Codependency advocates claim a codependent ...
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A situation happened a couple of days ago that my friends and I are a little split on, I was wondering what others might think. First some background: Multiple times I've been the codependent enabler of abusive alcoholics, however I am not anymore.
The other night I got together with a few friends to have a couple of drinks. One of my male friends, whom I've known forever, and I began to argue. I got angry and turned to leave. When I did he grabbed my arms from behind and began yelling at me. This is where the opinions begin to differ... He scared me and pissed me off at the same time. I swung around and hit him twice. I hate violence, and I know that he would never really hurt me, but the idea of a drunk angry man with his hands on me made my fight or flight instinct kick in. We've since talked and we've both apologized, he says that he understands. I felt terrible, but justified. Another friend thinks I over-reacted because of my past and that I was wrong. I was wondering what others think. Was I out of line? Posted on 08/04/08, 10:08 am |
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I would be willing to say that you were both a little out of line. And if you had had a bit to drink, it might be fair to say that you didn't have the best take on the situation anyway.
I think it is probably ok. Everyone behaves inappropriately sometimes. We try to do it less often or make it less of a big deal when we do. If you have taken care of whatever you needed to take care of with the other party, I think you are fine. 
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i think it was a over reaction on your part... but then your friend should never have put his hands on you......i could say take some time to think before you act.... but i know as well as you..THAT aint easy.
deb
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No one can tell you that you over-reacted. No one knows how they would react in that split second. YOU know what drunks are capable of.
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well, if it was me he grabbed and yelled at. He would be dealing with the cops plain and simple, no one has the right to put their hands on you in any circumstance. But also know that enganging in a argument with a person who is drinking is useless..I think responsibilty here kinda falls on both sides of the fence..
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I think he triggered something. your reaction is based on your paradigm... if his actions made you feel threatened and angry it has to do with something inside you.
The best advice anyone every gave me.. was never drink more than 2 drinks. Even with 2 drinks your inhibitions are lowered, your judgment is impaired and you will say and do things you normally would not. I think if you both had not been drinking... this would not have happened.
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