A "codependent" is loosely defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for other people's struggles.
Codependency advocates claim a codependent ...
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when they make threats
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how do you combat every threat in the book?
i am trying to distance myself from a VERY sick individual. i have no more sympathy for him. i was done a long time ago. but he kept threatening suicide, hurting ppl, going psychotic and all sorts of fun. he has hinted at threats towards me lately. i don't know what to do. i ignore him....he calls, emails, and text messages me day and night. with his threats. makes me out to be a horrible person. and anything he can do to get my attention. i am starting to hate him. severe anger problems lately. i want him gone how do you keep supporting your boundaries when the person claims not to understand. that's all he does.... i don't know what your saying...i don't understand....tell me tell me.....explain it. i want to hit him...badly. and it's not just a thought. i would if he shows up at my house again. any advise on wording? should i just agree with him when he says horrible things about me? just to get off the phone? understand, i do not want to make this person angry. i am finally scared of what he will do. going to the police is ot something i'm going to do yet. he knows where i live, work, and my family lives. and has talked about how i'm just like his ex...and how he would luv to kill her and her family. SO advise? pls? sorry this is long i'm a bit desperate. Posted on 08/01/08, 02:08 am |
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i hear your fear. The police sounds like a good idea. get it on record that he is stalking you and making threats, tell them you want a restraining order against him because you are afraid of what he might do. save any emails he sends and if possible record any phone calls. let this guy know that you are serious and wont let him intimidate you. Good luck, please take this very seriously and take care of yourself."hugs" 
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I totally agree with Blooming, make sure you document anything and everything you can!!!!Your fear is understandable but do not let this go too long without calling the police. Good luck to you! God bless!
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thank you guys. =[ i guess i'm just looking for the proper way of wording things. . .
before i just kept repeating to him "i can not be there for you like you need me to be. i am not a strong enough person. i'm sorry" now he twists things around to make that statement invalid. i just feel like there has to be away of telling him to stop with out making him angry. going to the police definitely will.
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sparrow, this is a frightening situation to be in. This person is manipulating and attempting to control you through their threats. The person in my life that did this to me was my husband, and what you posted is almost exactly what I went through with him. He would threaten suicide, or threaten to disappear and I would never hear from him again so I could just be left wondering what happened to him, etc. Over time, I too began to feel less than safe around him, he would show up at our house all hours of the day and night, say things that had undertones of threats of physical harm, etc. I consulted with my therapist who told me that any time a person demonstrates these behaviors, there is something very, very wrong and the best and right thing to do is report it. So I finally did and filed for a no contact order. I ended up moving but I am at peace now. I guess long story short here, is please please take this seriously and do not be afraid to go to the police, don't let this person control you in this manner. Tell them everything that he is saying and doing and let them do their job and protect you. ((hugs))
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Get the police involved. print any and all emails he has sent you. instead of answering the phone let voicemail get it and save the recordings. The more you feed this monster the more he will come back. cut off all contact with him. if he shows up at your house don't let him in and call the police. if he breaks in...well i'll let you use your best judgement on that one. Get it documented that he is stalking you. don't try to reason with him because his behavior is telling you he is not a reasonable person. Take care of yourself and let us know how you are doing. By the way does your family/friends know what this guy is doing to you? Get them involved for support.
HUGS!!!!
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Time to block his number from your phone, contact you phone service provider..also it is time to get the police involved here..He DOES NOT have the right to make you a victim or keep you an emotional hostage which it sounds like he is doing..It is time to speak up for yourself even if your voice shakes..Be Well!
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If nothing else then talk to him as little as posible.
Never answer emails and never respond to text messages and just nothing in writing. In phone calls say as little as posible. Like "I got to go now" and hang up without his response. Say "Can not talk now" or "got to go" or "I have things I got to do now" and then nicely but fast hang up the phone. The same when meeting him in person - start by getting away from him as fast as posible and say as little as posible. Words just feed the fire, and no-words make the flames go down.
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thank you all very much. *hug* i prepared something to write to him in an email. warning him that if he showed up, or contacted me, i would call the police. i want to send this b/c then i will have a right to call them?
but i just got an email from him saying he no longer wants to be my friend.....i am not there for him. so i think maybe i should just leave it at that and hope he follows through?
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