Child Support & Custody Support Group

According to the law in my state, you are to pack the clothes they will need but all of that other stuff he should have on hand. Are you supposed to pack food too? I think he is going too far!

He should have everything the children need to provide a safe/healthy environment. Some of those are toiletry items. Does he want you to provide the running water and heat while they are there too? Ugh - sorry you have to deal with that!

I would think a judge would say if he can't provide the basics for their visit, they don't have to visit him. As long as you send clothing - maybe some extras in case of an accident, or some variety in case the weather is unpredictable. My hubby likes his ex to always send tennis shoes in case we do something where open toe shoes might not be a good idea. But your ex seems unreasonable.

I think he should even have his own carseat. Those things are hard to get in the right way and to keep moving them around can be a pain!

According to the law in my state, you are to pack the clothes they will need but all of that other stuff he should have on hand. Are you supposed to pack food too? I think he is going too far!

He should have everything the children need to provide a safe/healthy environment. Some of those are toiletry items. Does he want you to provide the running water and heat while they are there too? Ugh - sorry you have to deal with that!

I would think a judge would say if he can't provide the basics for their visit, they don't have to visit him. As long as you send clothing - maybe some extras in case of an accident, or some variety in case the weather is unpredictable. My hubby likes his ex to always send tennis shoes in case we do something where open toe shoes might not be a good idea. But your ex seems unreasonable.

I think he should even have his own carseat. Those things are hard to get in the right way and to keep moving them around can be a pain!

This is his email to me....

I'll pick the babies up in L@#%^&* at 9:00am on Saturday.



I'll need:

car seats
booster seats
clothes and pajamas (+ and extra outfit, just in case of accidents)
bottles
diapers
any medications that they need
their personal things (blanket, toy, etc.) that they sleep with
anything else you think they will need
I'll drop them off in L@#$%^ at 6:00pm on Sunday.

Jerk!

Oops, sorry that posted twice. I agree on the clothes and the special things they sleep with - for their comfort. But really, the other stuff he should provide. I am sure some others will comment on here, maybe I'm nuts. The only medicine that goes back and forth with my son or stepdaughters is perscription stuff. He should have diaper cream, fever reducer etc..,

I think he is being controlling. If you can, call your lawyer see what they advise and stick to it. If he can't provide the basics they may want to eliminate visitation. I just think he is really pushing it and if you give him an inch he will ask for a mile. But of course you want your kids to be provided for also. Maybe you could do it this last time and let him know you are clarifying it with your lawyer but he needs to be prepared for next month if he wants the children to visit.

He said, car seats, for safety reasons, clothes, blankets they sleep with nightly (the boy baby is crazy over his blanket and passie) a few diapers for the trip there and home and let him provide for himself. And to let him know that he needs to get his own car seats.

It wasn't a request..He more or less said that I had to provide these things for him.

Talk to your lawyer. Mine tried to do the same thing. I had to buy all new winter clothes after I filed for divorce, I paid for everything, school lunches, medical, etc. He has still refused to reimburse me for anything saying he is broke, although we have his bank statements saying he has more than enough money. We haven't gone to trial yet for that. But, when I wasn't getting the new clothes back and I was having to buy even more clothes, toothbrushes, etc, my lawyer wrote a letter saying if it continued I would stop providing. It continued. We wrote another letter saying it would no longer be provided. My view is that if you have to pack it, it's like your child is going on a slumber party, not to a parent's house. My lawyer agreed. The only thing you should provide is if there is something special that your baby needs to fall asleep or be comforted by. Even then, if you can buy the duplicate of it and send that one, you don't run the risk of not getting it back. He's a parent, he should have his own car seat, diapers, bottles, etc. If your child ever needs medication, ask the doctor for 2 prescriptions so that he can fill his own to have at his house. The child support is there to provide for the child while in your care, not his. But again, your lawyer needs to address this so that you don't get in trouble with the courts when you go after his late child support. Good luck!

A car seat is a major purchase and moving it back and forth seems reasonable enough to me. Same with a booster seat but telephone books worked for about a century. I wouldn't make a issue of those. Clothing, blankies and medication should be packed or carried by the kids. Note that all of this stuff you already have on hand, its not like hes asking you to buy a second set for him. Put it on the front porch with the suitcases.

He should have on hand the diapers and all the creams and suff.

No one would fault you for going after him for past due support and thats where I would concentrate my efforts.

That is why I posted this.. They love their blankets, of corse I am going to send those, they always sleep with them. Car seats I can see also, medication is a given, I got a second prescription for him to keep there at his house. I would do anything to make sure they are comfortable while they are with him. My point is, is expects me to do everything except feed them. Come on, Why can't he do for himself? He has had a year this month to get what they needed. I had to gove him a crib so they'd have a place to sleep when they are there complete with sheets. Enough is enough. Man up! I'm providing for both of our homes. My first husband and I don't do that. We each do our part. He thinks a child support is all he needs to do. He said thats why he pays me? To take care of the kids???? Even when they are with him. Thats not right, is it?
I want him to apprecaite what I do do, not demand or expect it. I feel like an idiot trying to explain a point.

if it were me he would get only what the babies needed that would fit in the diaper bag, including the blankies. the care seats are a major purchase and as their father he should have car seats in his car at all times, it is not your problem if he doesnt want to buy car seats, if he shows up without carsets direct him to the nearest walmart and tell him you will wait till he gets back with them, i would only send 3 diapers per child, how dare him, idiot. that would be like me sending all of my ss meals to eat when he went to vist his biomom and shampoo and soap and toothbrush and toothpaste. no way, your child support is to support the children, not name sure he has all the things the kids need when he has them for his visits. if its not in the court order that you do this stuff, dont do it. make him cowboy up now or in the future he will become more demanding, right now this is just the beginning of him trying to tell you what to do with the child support, dont even let that bs get started.