Child custody and guardianship are legal terms which are sometimes used to describe the legal and practical relationship between a parent and his or her child, such as the right of...
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Hello everyone!
well heres what is happening. I was with my ex for around 4 years,and we had a beautiful baby girl. note we never got married. things went sour and we ended up splitting apart. everything was fine untill a few months ago. I used to watch my daughter 4 times a week before i went to work,then it progressively dwindled away to like one day or two days if i was lucky. now when i watch her i dont have much time! i get up at around 8Am and pick her up at around 830ish and spend the day with her till around noon or one, since thats naptime. i work at 4 and i have to leave the house by 3. so the time i see that little girl is limited. now she wanted to take me to court for child support which i was more than happy to do, well when she was pregnant with marlie she lied to the courts and told them that she wasn't pregnant. THEY FOUND OUT. so she has to pay around 400 dollars to fix the papers. and put my name as the legal father. she threatens me if i dont pay her everyweek than i wont really see marlie at all. so whatever i have to give her i give her. but to her i guess its not enough. she tells me all the time that she has no money cant afford gas or her bills or anything else,but she goes out,and blows money on things not needed. for example, the 31st of july was my daughters 2nd birthday. my ex went out and ordered a 100 dollar cake,a Bounce house(MOON WALK) a bouncehouse waterslide, and themed it all in dora. Dont get me wrong,all of that is nice and really cool...but why so much? Why go over the top and spend all this money when you know you cant afford it. she sends me messages through email that tell me that im not a father and that what good am i if i cant support my daughter. the list goes on and on..and there are days i cant handle it. i KNOW im a good father and i support that little girl i give her what she needs. ive told her that if she wants more help let me watch her more than 2 days a week and maybe let her stay the night with me on the weekends,i even told her i would change shifts so i can see her more. but that never happened because it "CONFLICTS" with her schedual. Basically what im asking is what should i do? how can i go about seeing my daughter more? How can i handle all of these Put downs from her? any help? Posted on 08/06/08, 02:08 am |
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I'm sorry you have to deal with an unreasonable ex...if you want to see your child more then you need to get a lawyer and petition the court for more visitation...visitation orders can be changed through court....basically your lawyer will ask why you want to change the order...then just tell him why....reason enough is wanting to spend more time with her...your ex will have no choice but to abide if you do get more visitation...she will have to comply with the new order...whether or not it conflicts with her schedule it's tough cookies....you have rights too....good luck to you! 
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There is only one way to deal with her.
You go to court. You get a order telling everyone how much you are to pay and how often. The order tells who the kid is to stay with and when. Then you pay not one cent less and you stick to the visitation order to the minute. If she wants more money and you don't want to give it. Tough. If she fails to let you have the kid when you're supposed to you have your attorney write her a letter. Tell her you have her charged with Contempt of Court and you will ask for criminal punishment. If necessary do it. She will demand as much as you will allow. In a few years, yes years, things may settle down and you can reasonably talk to her and maybe adjust the visitation to be convenient to the both of you. But for now you stick to that order to the penny and to the minute. Even if its for your own convenience you do not change the visitation hours.
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OC is exactly right. You really need to get a court order. If you were with her 4 times a week and that was the schedule, she would not be allowed to change it. She set the precedent. Where is the child if she is not with you? Is she with mom or daycare or other family? Parent time comes first.
As for the child support - get it calculated by the court - you can go on line and find out what you should be paying if you know her salary and any healthcare expenses. Sounds like she is going over the top w/ some things - living beyond her means. I can't tell you how important it is to get all of this in a court order. It saved a lot of stress, time and chaos for my husband and his ex.
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if u pay her anything else make sure it's in checks or money orders andkeep ur receipts
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