Burns Support Group

Kids are cruel. It's hard to know what to say. Tell her those are special marks from God - he wanted her to look different than the other kids. Has she ever attended a burn camp? This is an amazing thing for survivors to attend, especially as children...it really helps with self esteem and how to deal with society. As far as her father, shame on him for making her feel so uncomfortable. Has anyone tried to make him aware of how he makes her feel? You are an awesome mother for seeking out support!

She goes to burn camp every summer, and it has been great for her.

I've told him many times before not to talk about it to other people around her. Sometimes I think he is looking for attention. Not that we don't talk about it at home when she has questions or needs support, but she is who she is, burn or no burn. I guess we just don't pay any attention to it. I try to keep things as normal as possible for her. I don't want her to think that she is any different from the other children, or that her scars limit her from anything she wants in life.

She was fine today, like nothing happened yesterday. Although I am in the process of getting an appointment for her with a councilor. The burn unit here has meetings monthly, but I don't think they are geared towards children, and she may need more frequent visits.

Thanks for the support. Its great to have someone to talk to who knows what your going through.

Oh honey, we need to talk. My 14 year old is going through a tough time as a result of injuries when she was a baby. It was me who was watching her when she touched a hot oven. God love your Dad. Noone deserves cancer and it was an accident. My daughter is angry about her burns and starting counseling. She is still needing surgeris.

Explain to her father that he's setting a bad example and it's emotionally ruining her--teenagers subconciously develop based on their childhood. As for the kids at school...that'll happen no matter where she goes. She just has to learn that she's bigger than that, and there's more to life. In the end, all that matters is love and kindness. God bless you and your daughter.

My daughter hasn't had any nasty comments. But she does get stares and sometimes kids will just flat out ask her about her scars. I know it bothers her, but it is something she will have to deal with for the rest of her life. It just breaks my heart. As for your daughters father- just tell him to stop, that talking about it in front of your daughter upsets her. Hope this helps.

Thats horrible that her own dad would comment like that. Parents are supposed to be there to support there children instead of make things harder. My daughter is only 15 months old so shes yet to get to many comments. But her sister asks, and I do my best to explain. Other people stare. And i notice that the adults are the worse ones out of the bunch. At least kids ask what happened, where adults sit and stare but refuse to ask what happened. tell her to stay strong and that she lived thru something that was meant to make her stronger. Thats what I plan on telling my daughter, and just give her all the love and support I can. Stay strong for her, and tell her dad he needs to cut that out because its making things worse not better, and he should have his daughters wellbeing in mind, not his own hate.

hello!! I am a 38year old woman who was burned severely when I was 5. I dealt with years of the name-calling, the staring(mostly by adults as a child, children as an adult), and the whispering and the look of horror on the faces of most who see me. I want to honestly tell you that it never stops. I used to be withdrawn,shy, and pretty much uncomfortable in any social setting. I would beg my mom to let me stay home from school everyday. I dreaded it all. One particular girl would do her best to make me as embarrassed, miserable and in tears before the bus trip to and from school had even began. She would call me burnt toast, crispy critter, and she had a few other choice names. She would make sure the whole bus was paying attention to her the whole ride. She was the comedian and I was her best material. Years later I saw this girl at the local mall. She came up to me and apologized up and down. Thing is I find it hard to forgive her, because the scars she left behind were far worse than the ones on my body. Children don't realize the damage they can do, this is something I blame the parents for. I have a 12 yr.old daughter who wouldn't dream of making fun of someone else for a physical flaw, and she's first to defend someone being tormented by the "bully". That is the nicest word I can think of right now. As you can see I still harbor anger from this 30 years later. So, I know this doesn't help much but yes I would definitely say it affects me to this day. I have been in counseling for many years and I am truly trying to let go of the past, it will probably just take more time until I can let some of the pain go. For now I'm like Linus and his blanket. It is my own form of security I hopefully won't need at some point in my life. Please E-mail me anytime you need to talk at sissygirl62088@yahoo.com

Speaking from experience, there is nothing you can say to your daughter to make her feel better about her classmates. I can give you some advice for the future tho. If she is only 9 years she should grow out of a lot of her scars. I did. I was 3 almost 4 and had 52 percent of my body burnt. it was horrid of course but today I am 33 and the scars are barely visible. I have to point them out to people. As for the father, well he needs a lesson in compassion. Ask him how he would feel if someone who he looked up to when he was a child was always talking about something that was wrong with him, or pointing things out about his body that made him feel insecure! I would love to spend 5 minutes with him. I would completely do an overhaul on his attitude! My advice to you is to do what you already are.. support your daughter, answer any questions she has, and be there when she comes home crying. That was the best counseling I received!

aljslkfjoajjh