Breakups & Divorce Support Group

divorce was final Dec 27th of 07 and just now thinking of dating , not even close to marriage, she left 26 months ago. just starting the dating thing....

Different strokes for different folks. I can't even think about marriage after all thats happened. I would like another go at it one day though. Good question. Kathy

My stbx is dumb enough to do that! I really do think he is going to be the male version of Liz Taylor by the time he's 60! :-) lol. To answer your question though...they do it because they are insecure and cannot be alone. Plain and simple.

Replacement mode = rebound. I read a study that you should not remarry within one year, that after 2 yrs or 3 it's ok to start a long term relationship again. If you are single for over 5 yrs after div, you are less likely to remarry. Apparently 3 yrs after divorce is a good mark (healthy). My ex started living together with his 1st cousin, 17 yrs younger within the same time your ex did it (1 yr). He jumped in with both feet and without a doubt, which makes me wonder abaout his sanity. Ah, and did I forget to mention she was in love with him sinc she was born? lmao. Ok, to get things more exciting/absurd, he talked to her over the phone and internet, did not see her for 15 yrs, and moved there and got an appartment and moved in with her day 1. Rebound has colorful glasses. needless to say most relationships that start within 1 yr after divorce does not work. All i want is to be out before that comes crashing...no, thanks.

I was divorced over 10 years before I remarried.

You nailed it on the head, Joy. My first divorce was finalized in '97 and I remarried in '02. On the other hand, stbx's live in gf had killed herself the month before we started dating (which I found out later). We married 4 months into dating - I know probably not too wise. He's never been alone.

A new 2007 report from the U.S. Census Bureau shows that in 2004 (the year of the study)

12 percent of men and 13 percent of women had married twice
3 percent each had married three or more times
58 percent of women and 54 percent of men 15 and older had married only once
Below we have converted the statistics to graphs to make the data easier to understand. See the last page of the article if you would like to use any tables or graphs.

Summary of Statistics on Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage after Divorce
A new report from the U.S. census bureau shows that

First marriages lasted about 8 years on average.
Most people seem to have waited about three and half years between their first and second marriages.
For those 25 and older, 52 percent of men and 44 percent of women were remarried.
In examining longer lasting marriages, the report found that just over half of currently married women in 2004 had been married for at least 15 years, and 6 percent had been married at least 50 years.

http://www.remarriage.com/Remarria...

Canadian data

Canadians who married a second time averaged about 39 years old at the time of the wedding. Over half (55%) exchanged vows with someone who had also been married before, and more than one-third (37%) had already lived common-law with their new spouse.

At the time of the GSS, about 1.3 million of them (71%) were still married to their second spouse of almost 13 years. There are good reasons for believing that these marriages will continue to be successful. American research suggests that remarriages made after age 40 are more stable than first marriages.14 And the hazard model predicts that, all other factors being controlled for, Canadians who were in their 40s when they remarried face only half as great a risk of marital dissolution as those who were under 30. Even those who remarried in their 30s have a 27% lower risk of breaking up.

The reason dissolution risk falls as age at remarriage rises may be partly due to the partners' increased maturity. An American study reported that the quality of the relationship between the couple is better when both spouses are remarried; they scored higher on measures of intimacy-based reasons for marriage than other types of couples and lower on external reasons.15 As for the "psychological baggage" they may bring to their new marriage, evidence suggests that the effect of divorce on general happiness, depression and general health is significant but weak, once the effects of demographic variables are removed.


http://www.statcan.ca/english/free...#age

Well still in the process of divorcing eight months after separation. I have been dating a great guy for a little over 4 months now and we have talked over the possibility. We both seem keen (he hasnt been married before and we are both still fairly young) so I dont think the wedding bells will come too long after the divorce is final (asuming we are still happy together then). As someone else posted, horses for courses. In my situation stbx had abused me verbally and physically for 12 years and abandoned me twice as well as serial cheating in between. He left me for good after we had been married only six months. I finally saw him for what he was and realised he would never be the loving loyal dependable man I needed so it wasnt as difficult for me to put him behind me and start again as it is for many. No kids involved either which can complicate things a great deal

My stbx moved in with another woman 1 month after separation.. has been living with her 10 mos.. our divorce still isnt final... I cant even think of dating... so... no idea how they move on so quickly.. I can honestly and whole heartedly say.. ill NEVER get married again.. I really dont see a point in commitment and forever anymore