Divorce or dissolution of marriage is the ending of a marriage before the death of either spouse. The main causes of divorce in 2004, according to a recent study, were extra-marita...
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when i partner leaves emotionally and physically and they get there own place i know this is a little settling for them but what happens to you--I look around the house i have lived in all my life and it feels empty yet my other is settling in to an apartment that is new to her are these feeling normal--even with the two girls who i love the house feels empty and i feel alone will this change--recon--may not be a picture--she fell out of love and wants more than i can give also just started a job wherer she makes good money--9 months ago--there are other cont-factors but--can not drag the out of her just says i did not listen--no third parties that i know of--right now i am doing what i can to help her --and trying hard to give space--been 16 days scince she left
Posted on 07/07/07, 12:07 pm |
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This is so hard, I know. At least I knew my stbx wasn't coming back! (had a double life, moved in with other family - long story) It is hard to live in limbo, I've been here for 6 months! You have to take steps to take some control. Counseling (for you only, if she won't go), DS, taking steps to ensure your kid's well being. Good luck and remember your friends at DS are here for you! 
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Yes your matrimonial home can seem like a tomb now. You need to make it a home for you and your children if you intend to stay there. If not you need to go house hunting.
Many of your material things will remind you of your stbx. so either remember the good memory simply as that or get over it and dump the article. Whining about the past will not attract your STBX to you again.- you realize that. Actions and words might attract your stbx back.. Think about it..make a plan to woe her again and best of luck to you.
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give her the space she wants and find something for you to make YOU happy. Try to remember those things you used to do without her when you were married, or before you were married and do those things. Don't let yourself sit idle... but get plenty of rest too ;)
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I keep wondering whether I would be better if I moved. Everywhere I look is a reminder of what we had and how bad it is now. Weekends are the worst, the kids have got lives of their own so I'm totally on my own and it well and truely sucks! It's been nearly 9 weeks since he left and I still finding it hard but I'm sure it will get better eventually. At least we know that we are not the only ones feeling like this. Take care of yourself, we will get though this.
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I read somewhere that we should do some things with the house to change things up a bit (rearrange, get something new, whatever). I had a ton of dresser space to fill in after she left, that took a few hours. I still have to find something to fill in all the shelves on the entertainment center. My wife's been gone about 2 months and it hasn't gotten easy yet. I'm really sick of feeling this way, having been through it twice before, I know it ends.
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I left the house, and believe me it wasn't easy. But I think LEAVING instead of the stbx leaving the house was better for me. I was afraid the feelings you are feeling now would overwhelm me. I gave him the house. The day after I left, he re-arranged it. Completely. Perhaps macjohn is correct.
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ok besides the fact that she has four kids and married twice ( cheated on the 2nd one with me ex ) they are now living …
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