Divorce or dissolution of marriage is the ending of a marriage before the death of either spouse. The main causes of divorce in 2004, according to a recent study, were extra-marita...
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I would appreciate any feedback on my current situation. I'm not sure of my boundaries. My ex and I will be divorced two years this October. My ex has never been very forth coming about the OW. It is only by chance and deduction that I have learned about her. I just found out two weeks ago that he has been engaged to this woman since September although our four year old son does not know about it. The OW lives in Indiana and we live in New York. It's been a long distance relationship for three years now. Anyway, I share every other week custody with my ex and when we don't have to deal with the topic of the OW we get along.
That was a little background to set up my dilemma. My ex is going away with our son, this woman and 2 of her 3 children for a family trip this coming weekend. When they first became public they went to Disney with again, our son, and 2 of her 3 children. Unfortunately, I have heard a lot of negative comments about this woman from his family which makes me very uneasy. Should I ask him why her son is left out of these "family vacations"? What information do you think I am entitled to? When I tried to get information on their vacation he was very vague. He couldn't tell me where they were going and when. He just said that this woman and "the girls" were driving to New York this Friday. So, what do any of you make of this. Should I just let this go? Am I just curious and it's really none of my business? When I ask questions about their relationship, which isn't very often due to the long distance nature, my ex becomes very defensive and angry. I'm really trying to move forward with my life and not dwell on them but since he isn't honest and forth right I'm left wondering what the hell is going on especially since he is engaged and didn't tell me or our son. Plus, my son says he doesn't want to go away with "Kelley(OW) and "the girls". Any feedback would be great. Thanks!! Posted on 06/30/08, 01:06 pm |
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What does your divorce agreement say about your ex traveling with your son and visitation rights and all that? 
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He is allowed to take our son on two vacations a year. He is free and clear legally. It's just bothering me why this woman doesn't include her son.
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How old is the son?
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Our son is 4. Her son is 3. Her girls are 9 and 6. I guess it's not the trip that's bothering me but what is up with the her son. Should I ask if he has a different father? I will press for more specifics but legally, we don't have much included in our divorce. Who knew when we were negotiating that I should have put in more specifics. He kept her hidden so we don't have much in our agreement in regards to sleep overs, etc. It's just that this woman is his fiancee and our son doesn't even know.
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I think you morally have certain rights. You can ask if they are going to be in the same bed in front of your son. You can tell him that if he's not married you don't want your son exposed to that.
He might ignore you but he might have connecting rooms too. He's an idiot because your son might not understand now but he will someday. Your ex is teaching you son all the wrong things unless he has a room with your son and she has a room with her children.
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Ok, I agree that there's something wrong with this picture. If he's three years old and not going with her on trips he must have a different father. I think you have the right to know, it may say something about her character that you should be aware of. If he's been cagey in the past about her he may not be honest though. Maybe you can get your attorney to get some more accurate information?
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My ex and the OW will be sleeping together in the same bed. When she comes to NY she sleeps with my ex. We never had anything put in our agreement about this because he kept her hidden and we mediated our divorce so no one suggested this info. Bottom line is I don't trust them. I don't know why her son isn't included in these trips. It also doesn't make me feel good when his whole family vehemently hate this woman. I have said I don't want to know because she lives in another state and isn't around my son. However, they have been engaged for ten months now and I just found out. It does bother me that they are taking a family trip and it does bother me that my son says he doesn't want to go. I just don't know if I should ask why the son isn't going.
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Does your ex know that your son doesn't want to go on the trip? Maybe if he knew how much he didn't want to go he wouldn't force him to? And yeah, I think I'd ask why the son isn't included in the "happy family" outing.
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