Breakups & Divorce Support Group

I learned the following from some interactions with singles in the same age as myslef:

- Life can be a sucession of frustration when you value just what you don't have. By wanting a relationship, kids, etc...the dynamics you create in your life is of wanting what you don't have. When I see people on the fast lane, I give passage. I would not like to be with someone that can find easier what they don't have than valuing what they have. I learned that there will be nothing good enough for people like that, once they have something, they want someting else. Living in the future and not being grateful for the gifts the present brings, the neveryday joys.

- Most people who did not experience marriage, are very likely to make the mistakes I did, their mindset is comparable to when I was single and had low self esteem. They are looking for external fixes to their lives. Commitment regardless of quality of interaction. They are looking for commitment first, work the bugs second. Been there, done that, and learned that quality of interaction is the only thing that matters if you live a day at a time. I sure don't want to sign up for hell...lol

- I learned no longer to take craft projects, from now on I am not fxing anyone or being fixed...I come with my own glue and people come with their own glue, and I al willing to meet people halfway, friends or else. Most single people I meet are still taking craft projects and frustrated when their glue doens't work on someone else...lmao

- I learned there are lots of people on sale, and you get what you pay for...lmao. I am selective about real like shopping, I don't chase bargains because the reason they are on sale is because most people don't want, and sometimes takes a while for me to figure out the same. Meaning, i take my own time to know people, if they want a decision right away, that would be a no, I respect my own timing and feelings. I have no rush to find the right person for me. I know bad relationships can be harmful, so I will take my time to know what i am getting into.

- I learned that I only have to please myself at this point in life. And from the crap I have seen this far, being alone all life is starting to look really good...haha. I am starting to enjoy my freedom, singlehood, the option to buy versus being stuck with damaged goods. I am starting to think that most intimate relationships can be detrimental to a person's development and growth. Right now i can move anywhere, I can do anything I want, and change my mind many times. I can enjoy my life IN MY TERMS, and I love it.

- I learned that I don't need anyone to throw crap my way, I can do that job on my own as well as picking up my pieces. When I have friends and family calling crying about relationship issues, I can't help but think they could be better on their own. Relationships should be a source of joy, not a source of grief, an option and not the leftovers from what is available from the single world in your age group. I don't have to pick anytime from the list of singles I have been exposed to this far not to be alone. Life can be way better than fear motivated choices.

- I learned that being divorced is not a curse, but a gift, as I look around me and see tons of people willing to sign up for the mistakes I already did. I grew a lot, at a cost, but I would not trade where I am with anyone, I would not trade my life experience for anything. I learned all things in life are a choice and an extension of my relationship with myself, to the moment, to the ability to see the beauty in every day and the challenges as opportunities to learn and grow.
Posted on 06/14/08, 02:06 pm