Divorce or dissolution of marriage is the ending of a marriage before the death of either spouse. The main causes of divorce in 2004, according to a recent study, were extra-marita...
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Really thinking about a divorce
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Been married for 7 years. Been a tough marriage from the minute I said "I do". Between loss of jobs, 911, miscarriage, 1st child born sick, loss of jobs, moved three times, begged for second child as I begged for the first.
Husband is an only child. He is selfish, and a little cooky but in a creative way. He makes a nice living. We have no passion. I have a hard time believing his words. He is a good father. He is not thoughtful of me. Problem; stopped working to stay home with my kids(the best two little things in my life) and have made myself less desirable in the market I was in by leaving. I do not see light at the end of the tunnel. Do I suck it up for the kids? Do we continue therapy? Just had a very bad night and I am going out of my mind thinking about what I should do. I really think it is just a matter of time. Life is too short. I just need to get back to work and sort all that our before I leave with my kids. How long does it take for a divorce? How much? Does anyone want to share their experience? What do I need to ask for? Posted on 05/16/08, 10:05 pm |
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In my opinion you're bailing way too fast. You have babies and your just not happy. Life has ups and downs. Change how you react to your husband for one week. Kiss him when he comes in. Cuddle up to watch a movie. That kind of stuff. See if he changes too. Do whatever you did when you were dating.
I'm in this after 29 years and I'll tell you this. It's hell. Already spent well over $30,000.00 and have only been to court 3 times. No trial yet. 
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Maybe you should try counseling first. Sometimes when you tell men you want a divorce it can be a wakeup call for them. Get some help quick or you will be a part of the divorce community.
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Before you do anything you need to get back into the work force. How else are you gonna take care of yourself and your kids. As much as I would like to be a stay t home mom someday I would still need to know how to take care of myself an kids. You have an opportunity to come up with plan. I suggest you do so.
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I have no urge to want to cuddle up to him. he still has it for me but I have zero left for me. We sleep in seperate bedrooms.
We have been in on and off therapy for years. I need to get a job.
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most people here can tell you that there is no greener grass. i tried to stay in my marriage and it just didn't work out. i wish that it had. being a single mom is hard. being in a really bad marriage is harder. trust and passion are really good things to have and i am not sure if you can build them. best.
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Is the problem is that you have lost the "Oomph" for your marriage because maybe it's gotten a little too routine? It's tough being a stay at home mom and it's easy to lose a little bit of yourself because of it. Maybe getting a job, doing something different would be a good change, boost your spirit and bring the spark back. I would still continue therapy though because you said your husband isn't thoughtful of you and that is definitely a big issue that is affecting the marriage as well.
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Thank you for the responses. I am going to really try and work on staying in the marriage and we will continue therapy.
Someone said there is no greener grass and I know that and can't agree more. I am focusing on myself. See what kind of career I want and get back out there. I have always been an independent woman and it's hard to let that go. maybe I can work part time somewhere. We've been through a lot together and I come from a divorced family and it tore me up as a young adult. My kids ABSOLUTELY adore their father. I think in time our answers to our future willbe in front of us and we will both know what direction to take the relationship. Thanks Again.
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Why get a divorce?
Sounds like you just miss working. Tell him you need him to be more thoughtful too. Tell him what you are thinking and see if it dont wake him up. There is nothing out here that is story book. Same old thing everywhere. You may as well have a companion. Like old cars...you usually get ripped on trade ins.
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