Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Maybe he found someone else to listen to his cant live alone needs. Maybe he dont want to make the car payment?

You have to love him or leave him. You cannot stay in the middle. Whats your intentions?

I know EXACTLY what you are going through. My ex does the same thing to me all the time, and we have been divorced for almost a year. It is a control thing. I used to let him and his back-and-forth crap get to me, but no more. Now I see right through him, and I will no longer let him have any control over me or how I feel or think. Try it, it is liberating!! DO NOT give him any more control!

I know I really need to figure out a way to forget all of this, but I admit it is consuming me. I hate thinking of the conversation, but it keeps ringing in my head.

From my experience over this past year, stbx didn't call me when o/w was in town, did call when she wasn't. And so we are a 'choice' to them not a 'priority'.

I guess that is what is killing me, knowing that I'm not important to him, not enough for him to make changes in himself to be with me. Or that I'm just flat out not important enough, and replaceable. God this hurts so much!

It does hurt to think that, but if it helps you distance yourself, then think it. Judge him by his ACTIONS, not his WORDS, especially when he is deciding to be "nice" and grace you with his good mood (it's usually because they are lonely or feeling sorry for themselves, or are needing to feel attractive/wanted, etc etc). You need to remember that YOU deserve BETTER. What would you say to your best friend if she/he were going through this type of thing? No one deserves to be strung out like that. A no contact rule might be in order here, just so you can focus on you and on healing.

I think you said it in your last post. "...knowing that I'm not important to him, not enough for him to make changes in himself to be with me. Or that I'm just flat out not important enough, and replaceable" We have got to find a way to get past these feelings and quit beating ourselves up. I'm really trying to stick with the NO CONTACT thing for MY sanity. Good Luck with yours.

I feel like I'm slipping again, into that depression that has a firm grip around my throat. I keep telling myself to believe that the Lord has something in store for me, but that doesn't seem to ease the hurt of the ex.

Oh,I know exactly what you are feeling. you will have moments like that (days like that), but they will get less and less, I promise. The hurt slowly subsides, but that's the big downside: it happens s-l-o-w-l-y. But it does happen. Just hang in there, do things to occupy yourself and keep your thoughts off the ex, try the no contact thing, and remember to take good care of YOU.
((((BIG HUGS))))

ex may just wnat to keep you as a fallback option in order to comfort his anxst about leaving. i get hopes up all the time over the slightest things. its easy to read something into actions when they genuinely aren't there. sounds like you know his true colors but that doesn't make it any easier to accept them. i know b/c i there doing it. however, i'm trying to stop it, darn it! lol. maybe pinching yourself whenever you think there might be a "chance" though I'd be so bruised up... Good luck!