Breakups & Divorce Support Group

The short answer is, no.

Except a battered ego, a demolished heart, an overactive imagination, and nightmares for days.

Thanks I didn't think about the nightmares. In that movie high fidelity he says no one is having as great of sex as they are having in his head right now. He kept picturing his girlfriend with another man. Thanks for your reply

I just found out the truth today about the other woman. And it has helped me understand how he could leave so easily.He to denied until I told him I knew everything. Said he didnt tell me cause he diint want to hurt me. Knowing the truth has given me what I needed to move on with my life and not look back. It does hurt though. So it depends how much more pain you can take. Good luck. If you need advice on how to find out let me know.

My whole life, I have realized, when things don't add up, it's because a BIG piece of the puzzle is missing..... I'm sorry that you have to wonder and stew and try to figure out why, why, why..... when the answer comes, please come here for support! For every action, there is a reaction.... sadly.

I've learned the hard way not to ask questions I don't really want the answers to, even though the curiosity kills me (I can't STAND not knowing something!). It doesn't change the situation, and for me at least, made me feel worse about myself.

Knowing doesn't help..trust me.

I can't get into stbx's head and read his thoughts. But this is my opinion about why my stbx is out there sleeping around only 1 month after we separated: He is insecure and needs other women's attention to validate his existence. Even when we were married he would ask other women out but deny it when I confront him. He is just a confused, sad, insecure person and I decided that I have too much self-respect to continue being married to such an asshole.
That being said, I do feel pain and sadness when I find out that he's sleeping with yet another woman. Right now, whenever those images of him having sex with another woman gets into my head, I take deep breathes and blank out my head. Think about happy stuff, like your family or a big bowl of Coldstone ice cream.

I would suggest that you not pursue it. Don't compromise your own sense of integrity by letting it rule you... but if the truth comes to you in time, then perhaps it will make a difference at that point. John Gottman is a psychologist who wrote a few excellent books about marriage and relationships; he points out that infidelity (real, virtual, etc) is a symptom of problems with the relationship. And remember that it takes two people to make the relationship, so there's double the "baggage" that comes on the trip called marriage/relationship... so perhaps the infidelity doesn't matter so much as the cause of it... I know, doesn't seem to make your situation better--except at least there's a chance of personal growth which can only be good for you, and bummer for him because he'll regret it, and it'll be too late. Blessings for the discovery of truth--but be it at the right time, I think.

I agree w/ Run. You really don't want those images going thru your head. Trust me, I know. If he is or was w/ someone else then eventually it will come out and I hope that by then you'll be strong enough to handle it. Right now it just may send you over the edge. I've been over the edge-you don't want to be there.

My STBX swore it was all my fault. Not someone else. Guess what? My kids found out about the OW. Yes, there was someone after 29 years of marriage.