Divorce or dissolution of marriage is the ending of a marriage before the death of either spouse. The main causes of divorce in 2004, according to a recent study, were extra-marita...
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What is he doing & why?
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Any guys out there, please shed some light on this for me.
I've been broken up with a man for about 4 months now. He wanted to stay friends but I couldn't because I was in love with him. He didn't fall in love with me but still wants friendship. I went about a month with no contact. He sent me a book. I broke down and emailed. He continues to want to be friends. He is lonely I'm sure but doesn't want a relationship with me (or any body else he says). He has decided not to date (or so he says) until his kids are out of the house which is 2 years from now. He says he keeps coming back to finding he just wants his own time doing his hobbies. He emails me about 1-2 times a week mostly stating what he is doing. Almost like it's a journal entry. At the end of the emails he asks about me. I usually don't respond right away because I'm trying to get over him. Usually about 5 - 10 days I break down and respond or I forward funny emails, etc. What do I do about this, I don't know still if I can handle being just friends with him. We haven't run into eachother yet as we live very close to eachother and I'm very weary about that. His emails are so blah. I poured my heart out to him about how I still really care for him and he wrote back not even acknowledging what I had said except that he was sorry he hurt me. He still wants the friendship. What do I do, I can't get this fucking guy off my mind or out of my heart! I'm tired of carrying this around, I don't feel like I'm getting over it and still have hope he'll want me back some day. It just won't go away and I'm about ready for a labotomy! I'm really surprised he keeps me around by email, why is he doing this ??? Posted on 05/07/08, 09:05 pm |
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It could be the "keeping the options open" thing.
He sure isn't considering your feelings. Friends don't hurt firends. You need to decide if you want to be the "option" or if you want to find someone that will return the love you have to offer. It's your choice. 
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A friend of mine just sent me this:
Don't make someone a priority when you are only their option. Powerful words.
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Well, in my opinion, if you still love him, but he wants to be friends then you want more than he can or is willing to give.
You deserve better and more than that if that is what you want. Don't wait around for him to come around because he may not or it may be too late. I would be honest with him. Just say you want more than being just friends, which it seems like you already have done. I think if you do the no contact and try... he's still sending his little fisher emails.... "is she still there for the just in case I change my mind?" Hang in there... it's tough! Kitty is right! Empowering... Empowerment.... I am woman -- hear me roar!!! Hahahah!
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Thank you all, everything cumulative is very helpful and I'm taking all of the advice. I am taking my life back and not letting him ruin me. Somebody else will see my gifts that I have to offer. Listening to a great CD - I need to remember this stuff, but I'm back on track. Our only saviour is our higher power and ourselves. What doesn't work for one person will work for someone else. So I'm not wasting any more of my time thinking about maybe someday he'll come back to me but rather, I can't wait to meet the right one! The one who will see what a wonderful woman I am. I'm not being self indulgent just getting myself back. That in itself is powerful. I appreciate all of you and your words of wisdom and strength!!!
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