Divorce or dissolution of marriage is the ending of a marriage before the death of either spouse. The main causes of divorce in 2004, according to a recent study, were extra-marita...
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Her birthday
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So, tomorrow is my ex wife's birthday. For those that don't know my story, we split up amicably three months ago and then she started seeing a co-worker the next day. They are now in love. Nice. Nonetheless, we have gotten along well and have remained friends. Too good of friends. I mean dinners, lunches, movies, sleeping over (in separate rooms), etc.
I decided earlier this week that we needed to initiate a no-contact rule, for a while at least...until we are both able to move past some stuff. I'm dealing with jealousy and hurt, she likes having the physical and emotional relationship with him (oh, he lives 4 hours away) and also having the special bond we have always shared. So, it's been 3 days since we talked. Tomorrow is her birthday, and I know that she will be all alone with our kids. What to do. I dropped the kids off at daycare today and left our parent-swap bag. Inside was an envelope with some spending money (we still share our bank accounts and I pay the bills since they all come to our home, where I am at...she's at her parents), birthday cards the kids made for her, and a card from me wishing her well and some money to "do something nice" for herself. Do I leave it at that? Do I call off the no-contact just for the day? Do I simply send her a text in the morning wishing her a happy birthday? Have any of you been in this position? What have you done? Do you have regrets? Posted on 05/02/08, 03:05 pm |
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not sure if i would have given her the money hun!
but at least ur friends! and I say u don't have to give her anything more! unless u want to do a dinner and have it from the kids 
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Well, most of the money in the bag is what I always give her. We share our checking account. I physically pay the bills and give her some of the extraneous spending money. I get half and she gets the other half.
I DID put a little of money in a birthday card for her to do something with. I didn't think that would be a big deal.
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That was awesome what you have already done.
If you think you can handle just texting her then I say Do IT! But if it's going to make you want to see and talk to her then stick to the No Contact! Usually I can't control myself after one text, it's leads to more and then voicemails. LOL. I've learn just to not do it at all. ; )
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I think the bag is enough along with the card. I think you know thatshe knows you care, but for yourself stay commited the rules you've set. Show yourself how strong you can be. I have a hunch she may be contacting you anyway to thank you for the card. Hold tight you're doing great!
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Well my stbx gave me $100 bucks for Christmas, I found it very confusing...I think stuff from the kids are fine.
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You know, I'm a firm believer in doing what feels right for YOU. You have to love yourself in the end to love others properly.
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Thanks, all for the words of wisdom.
ekimnod, I agree with you. I'm going to hold tight and go with the flow. 3 days down...I can keep it up.
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i haven't spoken to my hubby in 10 days! but since I am hurt! i really really really want to talk to him! if his phone was on I would have definitely talked to him by now.. but its not!
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my stbx's 50th is coming up, I'm sure there's a party and of course I was supposed to be the one throwing it... well, I guess I don't gotta fund this one. oh well
I'll send her a text "happy mother's day, happy birthday" and leave it at that. 10 days later we should be divorced. I don't know if there's any right thing to do... do what you feel is best.
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Tangled , that was perfect what you did.. She was a lucky woman.. I hope that you know that.. Hugs to you, Kimmee
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