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Discussions  DailyStrength.org - The No-Contact Rule

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The No-Contact Rule
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mistimp
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Just wanted to post this for those new to the board. Many of us here strongly support The No-Contact Rule. It means do not call him/her to ask how their day went, to WISH them a nice day and especially not tell them how bad YOUR day went because they're NOT there. And of course this means all the other little excuses you try to come up with for calling too! It's over! You are just prolonging the pain by staying in contact with the ex! If you have kids or some other reason that requires you to be in contact then perhaps do it by EMAIL. Trust me and trust US that have been dealing with all this awhile- it does NOT help to see them, talk to them and especially not to sleep with them! Good luck and please try to apply this rule to your life. I promise that you'll be amazed at how much better you feel by cutting the ties!

Maybe try thinking of your new DS friends as your AA/NA, etc sponsor-- when you're wanting your fix come to us! We're here to get you through it!

Misti
Posted on 04/14/08, 01:04 pm
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Reminder: This is a support group for Breakups & Divorce. We trust you will do your best to remain positive and helpful. For more information, see our rules of the road.

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sadforme
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Reply #31 - 04/29/08  11:27pm
" I need this so bad right now because as we speak I am waiting for him to call me. After he talks to "her" to decide the fate of their relationship. AGAIN!! I'm pretty manic right now. Want to just scream. Can't physically force myself to do the no contact thing. Has anyone else been as weak as I am right now and how did you overcome it? "
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dmarsh
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Reply #32 - 05/16/08  5:53pm
" I have the problem of looking at my cell phone all of the time wishing she'd call or text. I think I'm going to have to find a way to start the no contact rule. I hope it works. "
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msde
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Reply #33 - 05/16/08  5:56pm
" i agree 100%, but the only time i want to call is to yelllllllll at him..i feel like i've made his life easier by remaining silent and calm, but also know in the long run its the right thing...fuck him "
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Jeanie40
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Reply #34 - 05/16/08  6:03pm
" Thank you; wish I could stick to this rule for just one day! "
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AhHa
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Reply #35 - 05/17/08  8:00am
" This rule should have been implemented a while back. I feel so much more at peace. Yes, I miss stbx but for me it has to be this way in order to move on. "
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lsn
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Reply #36 - 05/17/08  8:19am
" Believe me it is so important to have the No Contact rule. I used to think of excuses to contact my stbx. He didn't care. He would always tell me that he would call but never did. I would end up crying for hours afterward because of it and his attitude. Since I quit contacting him, I have been more at peace and can move on with my own life. "
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jessab
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Reply #37 - 05/17/08  10:54am
" How do you do it though? My ex and i have been in constant on and off for 5 years, and never once have i managed to cut him out. In fact the longest we have not spoken has been for 3 days, once, about 3 years ago and that was because he did something horrible., I try so hard and i delete his number but i know it by heart, and i think i simply cannot do it. How do you guys do it?? "
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dolphin888
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Reply #38 - 05/17/08  11:53am
" I was doing ok with the no contact rule until HE called me for some stupid money thing. Now, since yesterday, I called twice, but he wasn't there and although I posted about it here yesterday and got good advice, I still can't stop myself from obsessing about where he is and with whom!! I know.. it's self destructing. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him "
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ELV7
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Reply #39 - 05/17/08  12:08pm
" Thanks for the advice. I have a tendency to call, but w/o phone I e-mail. I even wished him a great day, this morning. Guess I am stuck in the wishful thinking phase. I need to remember the no call rule! "
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justthe5ofus
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Reply #40 - 05/17/08  12:26pm
" sooooooooooo true "
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