Divorce or dissolution of marriage is the ending of a marriage before the death of either spouse. The main causes of divorce in 2004, according to a recent study, were extra-marita...
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kicked in the face
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tomorrow morning i am going to Durham to see my husband for his birthday. His request. Part of me is excited because I DO love him, and I miss him. But part of me would rather not go. I am so torn, wish I could not love him so much, but after so many years it's hard not to. I have spent the major part of our marriage being alone, for one reason or another, so you would think I would be use to it by now, but...I am not.
I am trying to get use to the idea that he is never coming back, and I do not know how to process that either. It's a slap in the face really. If anyone knew the extremes I've gone to to make my marriage work, and for what? Absolutely nothing. I know there isn't any OW, but I also know it's only a matter of time. I sure hope she's perfect because otherwise she is in for a big surprise. Oh not at first. He will be all hugs and kisses, but then reality will set in and then Oh Shit. I too got the I'm not in love...well guess what! There's been a lot of days I was not "IN LOVE" with you asshole..... But I love you unconditionally, and know that you don't leave the one who has been there, the ONLY one who has been there because you don't get all giggly inside every single day. If I were a piece of shit I could understand a little better, but I am not. So I am not 19 anymore...But I work everyday. So I am not Cosmo cover quality, I cook, clean and have a good reputation. I am faithful, honest and funny. I am not petty. I am slow to anger and quick to forgive. So I can't have children obviously...Do you think I asked for that? Oh and for those of you who think this is easier with no children....THINK AGAIN.....If I had not wanted children, maybe so, but for those of us who do, and couldn't...well shit...I don't even want to stir up that can of worms. It's just another kick in the face............... Posted on 04/05/08, 09:04 am |
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I know how you feel. I feel kicked in the face every day. My wife had an affair with one of my friends. Invited him and his wife to our house and dinners all the time. He lives two door down from us. Now do to financial reason I cant even afford a divorce. He was not the only one ether. I see her every day and I love her very much. She has pulled the happiness from my body. In addition I have 3 small children. So she will take half of there childhood from me as well. On top of what she has done she blames me for her actions. Of course I don't take credit for that. So I know how you feel about being torn. Hang in there. 
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I there with you .I,ve been married almost 18 years. my wife is leaving me because she wants her me time right know the hardest part is were living in the same house till it sells can,t afford a morgage and renting . I,ve also been there for everything sick and good times
and now I,m sick don
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Elizabeth,
I know that double-whammy. I always consoled myself that even though we didn't have the family I wanted, at least I was married to my best friend and we would grow old together. So much for that! It doesn't seem fair that he has two feet and I oly have one face.
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I like your statement that 'there were a lot of days I was not in love with you' This is really how it goes..there is no constant feeling of love..reality is, we love at times and we don't at times.
Why would he request you come for his B day, if he does'nt want to be with you?
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I'm there too. I've begun to understand and accept that I love my stbx and thats ok. But I'm starting to love myself again. I told mine awhile ago that the end of the marriage doesn't have to be the end of the relationship. She wanted out to find "herself" again after I fought to keep it together. What better to find ourself than in the loving atmosphere a home and family can provide. Thats what I'm here for, isn't it??I told her I've left all the doors open but I've changed that and hers is closed. Its not locked, but she's gonna have to beat on it for me to let her in. NO MORE GAMES! NO MORE PAIN! I'M DONE. So go to the party if you want and hold your head high. Let him see how strong you are and that he can't control you. Take your power back and don't let it go. And if you don't want to go, then don't and have no regrets. Don't look back cause this is your time now. Good Luck to you.
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I relate to you when it comes to children. We tried for 12 years with no luck, and th epain is just as great with or without children. Not having kids was/is the story of my miserable life. :)
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WOW...I got told the same thing on our 11th anniversary and she asked for a divorce. We do have 3 children though and I have to see and talk to her nearly every day. I wish I could help in any way but it sounds as if we're in the same place. Every time we talk or see one another it's another kick in the groin for me. Some people tell me to be confident and put on a mask to make her realize what she's missing, I guess that there is some wisdom in what they are saying but I myself can't do it. Right now I wish that I could stay away just to keep the pain to a minimum but I WILL NOT abandon my sons in any way, shape or form. I'm sorry.
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