Breakups & Divorce Support Group

She walked out 10 months ago and for me the first 4 months I spent every second thinking about her & us. I then began to realize that I was allowing her to live rent free in my mind and it was slowly consuming me. Today I still think about her but nothing like it was, my goal is to eventually evict her from my mind. With friends, family, and people on DS I believe it's working.

What are you doing to aid yourself in recovery and understanding the abuse you were victim to?

P.S. What you had is not Love. Love does not abuse.

I think you're mourning the "Marriage". Not the relationship. Abuse is a terrible thing. You deserve to be treated much better than that.

I don't have any advice on timescales for recovery. I know time does heal. Take it day by day & know that we're here for you. You deserve not to be abused and to be happy.

When I left my husband I literall cried every day for 2 months. After 6 months my emotions subsided a little. It's now been a year and I'm over him but still very angry at all the lies. We vowed we would always be faithful to each other. He told me it was very important to him and I agreed that it was important to me as well.

Well, I am now building a better life for myself. I do see a new life emerging with new friends and perhaps a boyfriend who actually likes women.

Give yourself time. It's only been two months for you. That is enough time to get over someone. Do your howling, crying and feeling sad. These are normal feelings. I used to think of my former husband daily and missed him terribly.

Allowing myself to grieve got me to this point and I don't know how in the hell I could have lived with him as long as I have.

Two years from now, you will look back and see yourself as a new person. I promise you that what your feeling right now will not last forever.

Before this husband I was married before and it took me a long time to get over him as well. I don't even think of him AT ALL. So, please trust me you will have happier days ahead.

Come here often and I'm sure everyone will give you the support and confirmation you need.

Hang in there. You will get through this. All of we get through this.

It will take time. Are you talking to anyone about it? I find going to my therapist a godsend.
Unfortunately it will take time. I still cry after six months but the crying gets shorter and less often. All you can do is be good to yourself and know we are here when you need us. Hang in there.

I'm trying to get out and socialise but that causes it's own problems as my husband managed to isolate me over the years so my support network is actually his friends and their wives who recognise what he has done to me is dreadful (they all attended our wedding just 6 months before he left me).Being with them makes me think of him too. My family live 200 miles away and I cant be with them until our house sells. My husband is going to the US long term on Monday so everything has been left to me to sort out.
I have read many online articles about abuse recently. The major part of the abuse was emotional and I didnt even understand I was being abused. I just knew nothing I did was ever good enough and he was always angry at me. It helps a bit when I think of all the awful things he has done and said over the years but I still miss the occasional good times we shared. Like most abusers he was Jekyll one minute and Hyde the next!!

Dear Hazi,

Try your best to make new friends. Join "Parents Without Partners" and other organzations you are interested in. You don't have to stick with old friends that triggers hurt and longing.

It's difficult but today or tomorrow make that call to a church, an organization that can help you move forward and find out what programs they have to offer.

My friends with my ex are no longer around. I know now who my true friends are and besides your friends with your husband are probably uncomfortable around you. They don't want happened in your marriage to happen to them.

Hanging around them will only prolong your suffering.

Good luck to you.

I understand. It takes time to heal. It is important to focus on what makes you happy and to take care of yourself. Try not to think about him all the time. He is not good for you, sweetie. Someday, you need a man that will love you for who you are. Understand too that you do not need a man. You need to find yourself and love yourself. I am here if you need to talk.