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Reply #1 -
01/31/08
7:16am
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I really don't think he deserves one but this isn't just about the adults and their issues..... As hard as it is I would take the high road on this one and send him a card from the kids--Let them write out the whole thing and make it entirely from them. I don't think it's something you and the kids will ever be sorry for. You did the right thing even if he didn't. 
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Reply #2 -
01/31/08
7:17am
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Should be helpful to send one.
It will get him to think of his children.
If he continues to do nothing you should take him to court.
Its hard but you have to try to let the kids love both parents. They dont need to choose between parents at such a young age. Think of them.
A lot of dead beats are real screw ups and they work themselves into a pit they cant get out of. Sorry if thats the case.
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Reply #3 -
01/31/08
7:18am
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Well think of it this way. What if the kids ask you why you didn't mention his b-day to them or something. He sure doesn't deserve a card but the kids would probably want to send one. This is a tough one. Not sure what you should do but I'm syre you will find the right answer soon.
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Reply #4 -
01/31/08
7:19am
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yes, definitely get him a card. he may not want to do anything with the kids now but that may change in the future. maintaining even the sightest of relationships with te children is important. perhaps if he sees that the kids take time for him, he may make some time for them.
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Reply #5 -
01/31/08
7:20am
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Hey great idea for a card..it would be a best seller. Have the kids make him a card...why waste 3 bucks on that waste of life...The stamp cost is more than he deserves.
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Reply #6 -
01/31/08
7:20am
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I agree with tibi. Just go and get one of those cards that just says happy birthday. let the 11yr write out the rest and have the girls put their touch, whatever it maybe on it. ALso have your son put the address on the envelope. So it is all from them. But if your son doesn't want to do it don't force him. Just remember you are doing what's best for the kids, even if he isn't
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Reply #7 -
01/31/08
7:22am
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I agree with all of the other replies.. The children need to see you be supportive to their Dad. You may not feel like doing it, but they will sure appreciate you later for it... Kimmee
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Reply #8 -
01/31/08
7:25am
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That sentence should read supportive of them for their Dad's birthday.. I always encouraged the kids to send a birthday card, and shop for him at christmas.. They have a good relationship with their Dad, and I am so happy that they do..
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Reply #9 -
01/31/08
7:31am
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At first I was going to say to take the high road, send him a card from the kids, make him think about them if only for a few seconds.
I wonder if it is wise to make the kids think of HIM however if he has no desire to be with them or support them? Would it not be more beneficial for the kids not to be reminded of a dad who has no plans to want to be with them?
Just playing devils advocate there I think, all that said though....I'd likely still have them send a card though. Like everyone else says...
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Reply #10 -
01/31/08
8:04am
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First of all,
you need to contact Hallmark about a new line. The "Deadbeat Parent" collection. They can put it right next to the STBX cards, (with an especially vitriolic section for the OW/ OM)
Then, you know having your kids make a card makes it about them. Allowing them to honor how they may be feeling. So it's really not about your ex, it's about your kids. And aren't you a great mom, for thinking of them even though the last thing you want to do is honor that piece of craps B-day.
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