Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Oh thank you for this!!! What you said at the end about feeling without guilt...that is my daily battle!!!

BTW...can you keep sending me your counselor's advice...all I got from mine was, "and how did that make you feel?"....BARF!!!

Thank you so much for sharing this...this was exactly what I needed to hear right now. There is no "quick fix" for this; it's going to take time. {{HUGS}}

Good counselor - Great words!

Sorry Adrienne, I had a bad counselor once. I switched about 6 months ago, and I have come so far in such a short time.

awesome advice for all of us, my counselor also said the mind is far ahead of the heart. but moving in a great direction. we have to hang in there. with death there is closure, with break-up or divorce they are still on this earth.

Wonderful post, thank you. I agree fully with what your counsellor says and mine says the same thing. She gave me a piece of paper that now hangs on my calendar. It says:

Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

Just for today I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."

Just for today I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires, I will take my "luck" as it comes, and fit myself to it.

Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count. I will do a least two things I don't want to do--just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.

Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, keep my voice low, be courteous, criticize not one bit. I won't find fault with anything, nor try to improve or regulate anybody but myself.

Just for today I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.

Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself, and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.

Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.

I've been given the same advice.... this was a death of my marriage...it's not just divorce. It is like being in mourning.

Thanks for sharing. That gives me some comfort too.

Wow De - that was nice.

SOunds like you have my therapist. She told me the same thing. She told me to journal and if I am sad or mad it is okay. Just sit in as she said. So I do. I don't judge myself for not being over this. It is a long journey we have and we need each step to heal. Hang in there.

She's so right! Glad you got a good therapist! It's totally normal - it's a loss, you must mourn. But don't forget about what a wonderful person you are!
hugs