Breakups & Divorce Support Group

I'm still with my husband, but I feel like I've been alone for a long time, too. I remember a while ago when I couldn't wait to come home or call him to tell him good news or about a funny thing that had happened to me. All that's been gone for a long time. He's almost like a brother to me now, though I like my brothers a whole a lot more!

I identify with this post so much.. I did felt emotionally alone for a long time, but I had someone to go grocery shopping with, to the movies occasionally and someone to talk too, especially in the early years.. I miss someone to talk to so much. While I am fortunate to have my adult daughter close, she has her own family and needs alone time with them. I am hopeful in time that I will make new friends here and have someone to go out to dinner with or a movie. But if that doesn't happen, this is better than it was before..

I believe it was more the loss of companionship more than anything. The quality had been gone for quite some time. Habit is stronger than love, in this case anyway.

this is a certain kind of sadness, I think that sinks in when you KNOW you are alone than when you are feeling it in a marriage. I often feel like the whole world is judging me and my "alone" status when I am out. As if people at the cash register think "oh. she;s single. Wonder how she screwed up". I feel scarred and labeled. I think sometimes its more hurtful than feeling alone in a relationship until my cell rings and its my ex and I'm reminded why I left in the first place and the feeling quickly leaves.

I was just looking thru the local Park 'n Rec brochure for dog obedience classes & saw a bridge group. It started me thikig about how for the first few years I made so many events & trips happen, so many day trips, so many outtings. Then I started getting frustrted and it was pretty much limited to vacations, which he also would not participate in planning. Now, he would go to anything I planned - he was great to tug around - but he was BORING and he could not make anything happen! He preferred his computer porn and TV porn. And just jerking off in general. It just got worse. But he would still tag along and I wasn't "alone". Then he started becoming uninterested altogether - I suggested all kinds of things for either developing a social life with others or for doing stuff to get us healthier again -- no participation unless I made it happen, he was inert. Why one earth do I spend time "missing" his companionship? It was junk!

Again, he will tell you that I made all this up.

anne7676, it's like you are reading my mind! ive noticed that when someone (particularly a man) says or does something polite, i blush! im not used to it i guess, but i worry that it might make me fall too hard too quick for the first nice guy to come my way with some manners... :) ive been alone for years, even though i was married...i guess it was preparing me for this after all... im right here with you!

I do miss having someone to call when I see something funny or have a good day. Someone to share my thoughts and hope with...but I know now that he is not the one that I should be sharing anything with. So I will wait until this divorce is over, then hopefully I will again have a special someone to share my thoughts and dreams with. Right now I have met a few people right here on DS that I can talk with..I know it isn't the same...but it is a start.

Anne-I have Talked to you and heard your Kick Ass Voice. I can't Believe that you are going to be "going it alone" forever.

Well, SF isn't that Great of a place to be looking for Guys ;-) but you are in the 'butbs.

As soon as you start getting Happy and start moving around a bit, you are going to meet people. They will LOVE YOU!!!

I wanted to meet you. I was just in as sad of a shape as you were before I left CA.

Try out one of those groups, but do it for YOU. Join a bridge group-there must be one that you don't need a built in dummy to join.

I feel the same way. I miss having another adult here and I miss the husband I once knew but I don't miss who he is anymore.

I know exactly what you mean. I am just going through my divorce and I know it will be the companionship that I miss even though the rest of the relationship has been gone for a long, long time.