Divorce or dissolution of marriage is the ending of a marriage before the death of either spouse. The main causes of divorce in 2004, according to a recent study, were extra-marita...
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it is hard to stay away
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This breakup has really shaken me. It was never even official, we argued then avoided eachother and just sort of assumed a breakup. It is hard today not to accept his invitations the last 2 nights to dinner. It was good to talk to him and get some communication going and realize how dysfunctional he is acting by severely neglecting his needs - not eating. I told him I can't feed him, he has to take care of himself and there is no need to starve himself. His weightloss is so drastic. And I play the tape through... is his company going to enrich me? I think I can help him, there comes a point when it is detrimental to me, and I have told him this. Our relationship became so toxic. Now he's being nice and acting or seeming hopeless, it is hard to stay away and not want to go to dinner and watch our tv show together tonight. I try to stay busy and see if it will pass. I talked with a friend today for over 2 hours and remembered it is ok for me to have stuff in common with someone and have a normal conversation and not have it be about me fixing someone or depending on someone. Very interesting.
I really appreciate the feedback I receive here, it strengthens me tremendously. Posted on 11/30/07, 08:11 pm |
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Your are making an important stand for self preservation. Because you have already learned how to take care of yourself and be independent you should at least expect the same in a relationship. He's trying to put his dependent claws back into you and suck you dry some more. Don't let him play on your lonliness. 
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I'm sitting here once again avoiding reading his text messages nearly 4 weeks into the breakup. After he showed up Thanksgiving I have responded to his texts, and it's like feeding a monster. Back and forth, I told him yesterday 5 breakups is ENOUGH. Thanks for encouragement and perspective, it is helpful.
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You are preaching to the choir my friend, I am a caregiver by nature and recovering from codependency...I broke up with an ill man myself and it hurts me because I feel guilty for leaving, but he is a big boy and can stand on his own two feet, as your ex can as well.... it's so hard I know, just keep it in your mind that YOU come first.
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