Breakups & Divorce Support Group

OK, I've read and read and read and heard time and time again, by mixing "friends" of people of the opposite sex, that when we're going through/just went through a divorce and/or breakup, that it is best to surround yourself with "friends" of the same sex because apparantly, "You need more time to heal before you become romantically involved." Which typically happens between a man and woman bar none. New friendships anyway.... (my opinion).
That being said, I want to share a small story. I met a woman I'll call her "Darla". Darla was starting the divorce from an emotionally and financially abusive husband who hated her with a passion according to her. We talked about my situation before I knew it wasn't good to start new friendships with people of opposite sex, and exchanged phone numbers to "help each other out through the "process"." She always wanted me to come over, go to lunch, meet at places near my house where she'd happen to be, mind you she lives about 30 miles from me.
Well, let's say me and Darla are no longer friends. She immediately sought after me in my impression of being the "other man" while she made no effort to dissolve her unhappy marriage. I for one was an emotional basketcase and I think that she in essence played me a bit and with my emotions to kind of feel sorry for her, and "comfort" each other.
We took our friendly conversations just a bit too far, at her direction and my pullback to where I finally had to get nasty with her, call her out on her lies to me about what's really going on in her life and vow to never speak to her again, unless we're at the same place/function, I'll be cordial and nice. Well, she popped back to say she'll not even speak to me ever again, thus making things awkward when we do see each other. It's bound to happen as I met her through other friends.
So, yes, I do have female friends that have been my friend for 20+ years, and I see them as a sister, or buddy. But, this is proof of friendships with someone of the opposite sex, especially new friendships while in process of a breakup, are not good ideas.
Guess could have been a journal entry, just thought some friends could use this info....
But has anyone else had a similar situation where you thought you could honestly be just friends with someone of the opposite sex but they were interested in more?
Posted on 11/01/07, 12:11 pm